UPSIDE DOWN

~ 32 ~

Sylvie

Drowning. That's all I can think of. 

The suffocation, the breathlessness, the weight. Everything. 

I can barely put it into words, the feeling of helplessness weighing me down every minute. 

"Sylvie" I hear someone, shifting my trail of thoughts. "You ok?" I look up to see Matteo, that same concerned expression etched on his face. 

I give him a slight nod, "sorry, zoned out" I clarify. 

"No issues, I was just telling..." He continued ranting about how everyone makes him work too much in this house, resuming his work of washing the dishes.

Since the time he's saved me from Viktor, he's held that same expression while looking at me, the same look in his eyes that say 'I'm sorry I couldn't get to you earlier'. 

All my brothers are currently blaming themselves for what happened. 

"It's not your fault" I say, and his attention is on me again, "I know that all of you blame yourselves, and honestly I can't see that anymore" I say. 

"It was not your-" Matteo cuts me out, "But we could've prevented it Sylvie" He interrupts. 

"I know that it wasn't our fault, we had no control. But there were soo many ways we could've prevented it" He sighs, "We don't blame ourselves, we just hope things were different" He completes. 

"Me too" He pulls me into a hug, planting a gently kiss on my head. 

"Now come on, time to unpack" He says, picking up a suitcase and moving towards my room. I don't even know how they got my stuff in such less time. 

_______

"Sylvie," I hear Aurelio call from the kitchen, "Food's ready bambina" He said. 

"Coming" Matteo tells him before helping me out to the dining room for dinner. 

Everyone's already seated on the table by the time me and Matteo enter. He sets me down on the chair next to papa before sitting down next to me. 

"Papa if you don't mind, I'm not really that hungry right now" I state, looking down at my palms trying to avoid looking at the disappointment in his eyes. 

"It's ok, do you want me to make some Pastina again? Maybe later at night when you're hungry?" He offers, "Maybe later" I say, not wanting to decline. 

"Do you want to sit with us for now, or do something else?" Andrea asks, looking at me. 

"will it be ok if I sit on the dock outside?" I ask, still looking down, I don't wanna seem too demanding. 

"Can I come with you?" This time I hear a voice from behind me, Oscar. 

"What about dinner?" Matteo asks, "I had some snacks earlier so, not that hungry" Oscar replies before looking at me. 

"Yea sure" I reply, before he helps me onto his back, carrying me out. I rest my chin on his shoulder looking ahead. 

Oscar

I can feel her breath against my cheek as she rests her chin on my shoulder, the soft sounds of her breath assure me that she's ok, and calms my heart down a little.

We haven't had much time to talk, just the two of us. And I constantly stay worried about her not knowing how to help. 

Keeping her around me assures me that she's alive, and that she'll be ok. She has to be ok.