Mental Health One shots

8. Lady Lesso

Tw: sh, ed, Panic attack, mention of abuse in the past, slight mention of suicide

Y/n sat in the main hall, zoning out and just pushing the food on her plate around. She wasn't planning on eating anything at all otherwise she would get fat again. She worked so hard for the body she had and she would do anything to preserve it. Suddenly she felt someones burning gaze on her so she looked around. No one other than Lady Lesso was looking at her. Quikly Y/n truned back around looking at her food. The dean can't notice!

_ _ _ _ _ _

Y/n pov:

Shit shit shit! How do I get out of this? I had only one option left, I had to eat. My stomach was cramping and everything inside me was screaming to put down the fork I had just picked up. But the fear that Lady Lesso could stop me drove me on. So I forced myself to eat 3 forks and hold back my tears. The inner voices screamed at me to stop, which I did. I felt sick. I stood up and ran out of the hall, back to my dorm. I ran into the bathroom and was just able to bend over the toilet in time. I felt sick and a feeling of guilt overcame me. I needed something to stop the voices, I couldn't take it much longer. It has to stop now!

I reached behind a loose tile and pulled out one of my razor blades. It felt wrong. How long had it been since I last used the blade? 10 or 12 months? My scars are fading or have already faded, I could finally wear short sleeve's again. Did I really want to loose that? The answer was yes, yes I did. I missed that feeling so much, I need it now, only that can calm me down now.

I slowly roll up my sleeve and look at the almost completely faded scars. I run a finger over them, the once raised areas are almost impossible to feel anymore. I put the blade to my wrist.
I dragged the blade across my skin and prayed for the courage to push down. A few scratches at first. I watch how the little red drops formed. I felt a huge wafe of relief. I found the courage to push the blade into my skin. The blood ran down my Arm, a lot of blood. I was in a state of trance and didn't notice the knock on the door. Suddenly the door unlocked and opend. I looked up in shock. Lady Lesso was standing infornt of me shit.

Lady Lesso pov:

Y/n didn't show up to my lesson after lunch, so I went searching for her. In her dorm I could hear muffled sounds from the bathroom. I knocked a few times but got no answer

"Y/n, sweatheart are you in here? Can I come in?"

I got no answer. I had a really bad feeling. Y/n hasn't been herself lately. I was even more worried when I recently noticed that she had stopped eating.

"Y/n I am coming in now!"

Still no response. I opened the door, that wasn't locked to my surprise.

I wasn't ready for what I was about to be seeing. Y/n was slumped against the wall. A poodle of blood around her. I quickly moved vorward and sniched the blade out of her hand. Y/n froze out of shock I hope and didn't really realize what was happening. I knelt down infront of her and made eye contact. She was scared and tired. She looked very tired.

"Y/n darling could you please look at me."

She briefly looked into my eyes and than again at the floor. As if it was way to exhausting to hold ger head up.

"May I touch you?"

She nodded weakly and I quikly pressed a cloth on her wrist. Slowly the bleeding stopped and I was able to inspect the cuts. They were deep but not deep enough to be life threatening or for needing stitches. But Y/n the condition that Y/n was in concerned me deeply.

"Y/n Darling are you able to stand up and to follow me to my dorms?"

"I-I d-don't know."

"I'll help you to stand up."

As soon as Y/n was standing she began to sway a lot and had to lean against the wall. She was dizzy and I had my suspiosions as to why it was like that.

To my luck it wasn't a long way to my dorms. I sat Y/n down on the couch and went to grab a first aid kit. I bandadged Y/n arm and she finally came back to life a little bit. She looked nervpus around the room and began to tremble a little bit. Also her breath grew shalow.

"Y/n I need you to breath with me please!"

"C-Can't breathe."

"Everything is alright. You are safe with me. You are having a panic attack but it will pass. I will stay with you, yu don't have to be afraid really! Please breathe with me."

I sad her down on my lap, facing me. I laid my hands on her shoulders and began breathing with her. She began shaking really bad and began picking at some scabs. I quickly took her hands in mine. Restricting her a little bit.

"Y/n look at me, look me in the eyes. You don't have to be scared darling. You are safe! I promis. Nobody is going to hurt you. I am here with you. Copy my breathing."

Slowly she started calming down and breathning reagularly. I gave her some time to catch herself.

"Good girl. Can I ask you some questions or is it too much for you."

"Y-you can ask"

"Why did you do it?"

"I was clean for a year but the voices wouldn't shut up."

"What voices?"

"The voices that tell me to starve myself and hurt myself. I just want them to stop."

Some tears ran down her face. I wished them away.

"Shhh, we can work on that together. It will get better I promis. It will take some time but we will do it together."

"Thank you I'll try!"

She looked at me kind uncertanly.

"Y/n I am really sorry but when was the last time you ate something?"

She just shrugged and looked to the ground.

"I-I d-don't know. Maybe 3 days ago a protein bar and some berries..."

I was deeply concerned. That is life threatening for sure! I must help this poor girl! She is just so sweet and kind!

"How about we go and you try and eat some fruit?"

"I'll try but I am scared."

"It's okey to be scared but it's never okey to stop trying! Remember that"

Wordcount: 1172

Had to write something diffrent than grey's anatomy, please pardon me :)