YASHIKA's povIt's been more than a year since that tragic night—the night when I thought I would see my sunshine with a smile, but no. The night was filled with deception, betrayals, and the hunger for power.
To me, being happy always felt like an impossible dream. Even in the giant palaces or castles, with exquisite jewelry and expensive clothes, I could never find a reason to smile. Nor could those trappings give a heart to those beasts in human flesh.
But being in these woods, away from that fake world, feels like a prayer answered. It feels like there isn't much here, yet it still feels like a complete world.
No matter how much time has passed, that night remains clear in my mind. I can never forget how Digvijay sacrificed himself just to save my life. He never said he loved me, but that one action screamed all his feelings at once.
For the past year, I've been searching for him. A lot has happened in this time. There are thousands of questions I need answers to. But first of all, I need to find HIM. How am I alive, and who saved me?
When I opened my eyes, I found myself lying alone in this small house, with only my horse and my rabbit. How could this be possible?
People say the King died that night, but my heart refuses to believe it. I know he is somewhere, and he is fine.
I might sound foolish, but I know it's the truth. If not, how did I end up here, and how are Dhruv and Hima with me? No one except Rajasa knows about them.
With all these thoughts swirling in my mind as usual, I found myself sitting near the lake, making garlands like I do every day. This has become a ritual now. Every day, I wake up, take a bath, change my clothes, and sit here while Dhruv and Hima either eat or play around. The fresh morning breeze and the droplets of mist all around make me feel alive.
There's a temple of Durga Maa nearby. It's quite far from the village, and it's very rare for someone to come here unless they are lost.
But for some time now, something strange has been happening every day.
Still lost in my thoughts, I was busy making a garland when Dhruv started neighing loudly.
"Yes, Dhruv, I know," I sighed, picking myself up and walking towards him.
Scooping up Hima, I walked alongside Dhruv to the temple.
The sun began to shine through the trees, casting its rays over the entrance and illuminating Durga Maa, making her look more divine and beautiful than ever.
Every morning when I come here, seeing her fills my heart with overwhelming joy.
"Maa, you know, yesterday dear Hima almost met with an accident in the forest. And as always, Dhruv went to find her," I began, sharing my day with her. Gently setting Hima down, I brought the basket filled with flowers closer.
"And, dearest Maa, I must tell you, I have finally gathered enough coins to buy you a new saree. You remember the one I spoke of—the green and red one that caught my eye? Yes, indeed! Today, I shall visit the market to purchase it. Yesterday, I made sure to inform the shopkeeper not to sell it to anyone else," I continued, my fingers deftly removing the old garland from her statue. As I turned to place it aside, my gaze fell upon another basket, covered with a cloth.
With a curious look, I stepped closer to examine it. "It appears that our mysterious benefactor has left offerings of flowers and fruits once more," I murmured, shrugging slightly. When I lifted the cloth, my eyes widened. There it was—the very same saree I intended to buy for Maa. My heart skipped a beat, and a wave of shock washed over me. How could this be?
I turned to the goddess, my eyes filled with awe and surprise, then back to the basket.
"How could this be possible?" I whispered, lifting the basket to inspect its contents. Beneath the saree, I discovered another—this one entirely red, simple yet exquisitely beautiful. Nestled underneath was a letter.
Setting the basket aside, I unfolded the letter with trembling hands and began to read.
Agar Maa ki chinta aap karti rahengi toh aapki chinta kisi ko toh karni padegi. Toh ek aapke liye aur ek Maa ke liye." (If you'll keep worrying about Maa, then someone must need to worry about you. So, one for you and one for Maa.)
In that moment, a tempest of emotions swirled within me. Tears brimmed in my eyes, threatening to overflow. Was this truly happening, or was it merely a figment of my imagination?
Could it be possible that Rajasa had returned to this sacred place? Was it him, the shadow I felt lurking in the corners of my heart, coming here each day, watching over me from afar?
My breath hitched, a mixture of hope and despair. I turned to Maa, desperation etching my features. "Could it be him?" I implored her, my voice barely a whisper, before I turned back to the letter, clutching it tightly to my chest.
Like a madwoman possessed, I darted around the temple, searching every nook and cranny, my heart racing at the thought of him being near. "RAJASA!" I called out, my voice echoing against the ancient stones, a prayer and a plea woven together.
But after what felt like an eternity of searching, my efforts were in vain. With a heart shattered into a thousand pieces, I sank to the entrance, crumpling to the ground. "Please, please, please... come back to me. I beg you..." The years of longing weighed heavy on my soul, and I felt exhausted from the burden of strength I had been forced to bear. I longed for him to be here, to collapse into his embrace, to pour out my heart and let him know the depths of my despair.
How could he leave me to navigate this world alone? If he was aware of my suffering, why did he not reveal himself? If he chose to remain hidden, then I would not ask again.
With resolve, I picked myself up, wiping away my tears as I searched for something to help me express my feelings. My gaze fell upon the sindoor, its vibrant color a reminder of love and devotion. Mixing it with water, I felt a spark of inspiration ignite within me.
With the peacock feather that lay in the basket, I began to write, each stroke of the feather an echo of my heart's longing. The fabric became a canvas for my emotions,
He left a peacock feather in the basket as he already knew that I would write him back, a silent challenge that stirred both anger and longing within my heart.
With a fierce determination and a cascade of complaints swirling in my mind, I finished writing on the back of the scroll, pouring my frustrations and desires into every word. I laid it reverently at the feet of Durga Maa, seeking her blessings for strength and clarity in this tumultuous time. After concluding my pooja and rituals, I turned away from the sacred space, feeling a mix of defiance and hope.
Deep down, I sensed his presence lingering nearby, like a whisper carried by the wind. It was as if he were watching from the shadows, waiting for the moment I would leave, eager to uncover the words I had penned for him. Something inside me told me that he wouldn't dare approach until I was gone, and so I resolved not to seek him out.
This time, I would not chase after him. He would have to summon the courage to reveal himself, to step out of the shadows and face me. The air around me crackled with unspoken tension, a promise that our paths would cross again. I would wait for him, but I would not bend to the whims of my heart. He must come forward of his own accord, ready to confront the storm we had created.
With each step away from the temple, I felt a mixture of resolve and vulnerability. I had poured my heart into that scroll, and now it was in his hands. It was time for him to decide how he would respond.
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