Avengers + their spiderson one-shots

~40~ Insults

Hey!

Honestly, I wasn't entirely sure I was going to update this again, and I'm not even sure I'll end up publishing this part, but I'm still going to try writing something. I've actually moved over to ao3 now, and am working on a Peter in Gotham city fic. I got super into DC recently and wanted to do something with that.

Anyways, enjoy! ❤️❤️❤️

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"Spider-Man! Spider-Man! What's your opinion on Tony Starks intern, Peter Parker?" A guy around Peters age called out to him, holding a phone, clearly recording. Peter hesitated for a moment, choosing what direction he wanted this to go in. Fuck it, who was gonna stop him? 

"That guy sucks! He's just such an embarrassment. Genuinely the worst," Peter sighed. The teenager stared in shock, clearly not expecting a response, much less that response. 

"Really? I heard he was really nice," he sounded uncertain. 

"Nope. Total asshole. I hate him so much!" And with that, Peter swung away, giggling to himself. He wasn't really expecting that guy to post it, but wasn't very surprised when he did. He was a little surprised when it went viral, however. He was more surprised when Ned and MJ both sent him the clip asking him what the fuck he was doing. Did this mean that people were going to hate Peter Parker just because Spider-Man did? Dammit, Peter did not think this one through. At least, not as much as he wished he had. 

Perhaps if he thought about it more he wouldn't have insulted himself. He didn't really feel like having a bunch of other people hating him right now. Peter regretted it even more when he stepped out of the tower and immediately had a reporter in his face. 

"Mr. Parker! Have you heard what Spider-Man has said about you," she asked, pushing the mic towards him. 

Peter sighed. And he did something he was definitely going to regret even more. Curse him and his big mouth. 

"Yeah, I heard," he really tried saying as little as possible at first. 

"What do you have to say about that?" 

Peter turned to stare directly into the camera with an unamused expression. 

"He's the absolute worst. I've met Spider-Man before, and he was so rude. He's a fucking moron! He couldn't even repair his suit by himself. He has to go to Mr. Stark! And he's so whiny! No manners whatsoever!" Peter fumed, forgetting for a moment that he was still talking smack about himself. 

The reporter stared, eyes widened slightly. 

"Sorry about the swearing, he just really gets on my nerves," Peter turned around and walked back into the tower. Today just wasn't his day. He should probably stay away from cameras for a little while as both Spider-Man and Peter Parker. 

However, the decision most definitely did not last very long at all. Now everyone had seen both clips of him insulting himself. Of course, they didn't know he was insulting himself. 

Later, when he was on patrol, he was stopped by yet another person with a camera. He had just helped them bring their groceries back to their house and they pulled out their phone and started recording. 

"Spider-Man, did you hear what Peter Parker said about you? Personally, I wouldn't take that level of disrespect." 

"I definitely heard. And you know what. That guy just pisses me off even more now. He's totally a liar and he's so selfish. I'm surprised Tony Stark has tolerated him for this long. If I were Tony Stark, I would not let him intern for me. Total embarrassment. He just keeps making one mistake after the other and he never learns. He says I'm the moron, but he can barely solve any problems!" 

Peter swung off after his little rant, away from his problems once again. He really needed to learn to shut his mouth. If anyone else were to approach him about either one of his identities, he should probably keep quiet. 

Of course, Peter just couldn't keep quiet. There's a theme here, in case you haven't noticed. So when two people came up to him, one with the newest clip ready and the other ready to record, he really should've walked away. But he didn't want to be rude. 

Once they had his attention, the girl pressed play on the video and the guy started recording. Peter listened as he insulted himself and he just couldn't help it. There was no way he was going to let Spider-Man have the last words. He wasn't just going to let him get away with him insulting him like that. 

Once the video ended, Peter was a little angrier than usual. Who did that self-righteous bastard think he was. 

"Say that to my fucking face you tool. Get a real job!" He nearly shouted. "Self-righteous bastard," he muttered at the end. Immediately after he deeply regretted his choices and just kept walking, over to Ned's house where the trio was planning on meeting up. God, what would they think about this? 

***

Ned had found it extremely hilarious while MJ just called him an idiot. He could tell she was amused by this though. He had yet to speak to Tony about this little issue and he wasn't entirely sure Tony had seen any of the clips yet. He sure hoped not. This was just a small issue that would hopefully be resolved soon enough. 

***

"He said what about my job! That absolute embarrassing, failure at human life! Being Spider-Man is very much a real job! He's the one who needs to find a real job! Asshole!" 

***

Later, when Peter was in the living room with Tony, Tony stopped the show they were watching. 

"So, underoos, care to explain why there are several clips of you insulting yourself?" 

Peter paused and turned to stare at Tony. Mentally, he was panicking. He sure hoped Tony couldn't tell he was panicking. Quick! What was he supposed to do!? Gaslight!!!

"What are you talking about?" He put on his best confused act. Hopefully it was good enough. 

Tony quickly put them all on the T.V. They watched through all the clips, getting to the last one. Peter was still quite bitter that Spider-Man had the last words, and watching the clip was only making it worse. When Spider-Man finished talking, Peter threw his pudding cup at the big screen. 

"Say that to my fucking face! I'm the embarrassment!" Peter all but shrieked. "He's the embarrassment! There is no way he does enough, ever! He's so lazy! And he doesn't even have the guts to insult me to my face! He needs to come fucking talk to me, and we'll fight it out!" Peter shouted with a slightly crazed expression on his face. 

Tony stared at Peter with fear in his eyes. 

"Are you okay??" He was already making a mental list of who to call to hopefully help Peter. 

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The end!

I hope you enjoyed it! Sorry about not updating before. Life happens lmao. Remember to eat, sleep and drink enough! 

Have a good day/evening/night!

Bye!

-Author 

(26-08-2024)