237 Days

Chapter 25 Celestia

This is a part of the double update!! Make sure to read chapter 24!!

I took my phone and Facetime, James, it only rang once before he picked up

"What am I supposed to wear James?" I asked him, digging deep inside my closet. He and I were heading toward a small house party with his friends, we have been together for months and I have never really hung out with his friends, I was not quite ready to be in the same room with them again after everything that happened when we were younger.

"I don't know something casual, but the weather is getting warmer so something light," he said drinking some Coca-Cola in his room while while practicing guitar.

"So a crop top?" I asked holding a blue one and showing it to him. "Yeah, this is awesome, with some jeans?"

"Yeah," I replied searching my closet for something.

"Ok then, I'll see you in ten. I love you, butterfly."

"Love you."

-

"Ready to go?" James said opening the car door for me to enter.

"Always the gentlemen." I said before he rushed toward his side "Only for you my Love." he said kissing my hand.

Ten minutes into the car ride I couldn't stop looking at my stomach from my top, I knew it looked fine and that I should be grateful that I have the body I have but sometimes is just so hard not to overthink it, especially with the history I have with food and body dysmorphia.

You look horrible

Why did you wear a crop top

you'll feel cold anyway it's only mid-April

Look at you going out to spend time with friends while you have exams to study for.

your exams might be a month away but a month passes fast.

What if the universities you applied to don't accept you?

You forgot how important Oxford is for you? for your parents?

Yale? Harvard?

You look so ugly anyway-

"Let's turn the Radio sound louder, yeah?" I suggested and turned the volume higher, but that didn't stop the voices in my head, I knew I wouldn't have a panic attack but I was feeling uneasy, I needed to cover myself up, but I didn't have anything with me.

I feel bloated.

"We are here, come on." He said rushing to my side and opening my door, two very skinny girls were rushing inside the house holding a couple of Pizzas, with straight blond hair, looking very athletic.

When we entered the house about ten people were sitting in the living room, including Alex. James introduced me to everyone, they were welcoming some were whispering things but theory quickly stopped.

These same two girls whose names were Shenzy and Regina apparently, eyed me from head to toe, "I don't think they like me" I said to James making sure no one else heard me.

"They like no one except the football guys." He said, but they were obsessed with my boyfriend. "And you," I stated the fact, they were eye fucking him and giving me death stares.

I smiled at them before holding James's hand tighter.

About an hour later while everyone was chatting while eating Pizzas and drinking beer, the uneasy feeling about my body worsened, my hand laid flat on my stomach while hearing everyone speaking and laughing, James placed his hand on my thigh squeezing it, feeling I was uncomfortable, but those are his friends, we always hang out with my friends it was time to hang out with his, the only problem is that his friends were the one bullying me before, saying that I was too skinny, or too bloated today, or too tall, I know that James is sorry that he never made any effort to stop them but being here with them wasn't doing it for me.