A Pet for the Dragons

62.

IVRET

Even though I told myself that I wouldn't go to see her for a couple more days, I found myself in front of Arika's bedroom door with her dinner.

I sighed deeply. Even though I was still in disbelief and my heart ached due to her betrayal, I still wanted to see her. I couldn't stop thinking about her, no matter how hard I tried to distract myself.

I had many unanswered questions. Even though it had been proven that whatever she did was part of her grand scheme to get out of here, it left me wondering if everything was truly fake.

Did she lie about everything?

These questions had haunted me for a while, and now that Arika was here, I couldn't find a good enough excuse to stay away from her. However, I knew the risk of chasing the answers to these questions. I could get more hurt, and as Zorge and Radrox kept saying, humans were untrustworthy.

Arika was a human at the end of the day, and I needed to be more cautious with her, but still... my dragon was hoping that everything she had said to me was true, and even if it wasn't, it didn't matter. She was ours already. I would claim her in due time once I figured her out. Until then, I needed to stay away from her.

However, my resolve instantly weakened when I saw her. She looked worse than she had at the time of leaving, and she'd been sick then. Worry kicked in. I wondered if she was sick again, but I didn't want to let it show. She couldn't be trusted fully... yet.

I brought her food and wanted to leave, but she requested I stay. Even offering to feed her, I gave in almost instantly. I didn't know how terribly I missed her until I saw and talked to her again. But then again, I reminded myself of Zorge and Radrox's warning.

I didn't want to stay. I wanted to leave and protect whatever was left of my broken heart, but I stayed because I needed to ensure that she was alright and wouldn't get sick again. It was my duty as a healer and one of her masters.

"I'll be gone as soon as you finish eating," I told her, not missing how her eyes lit up. It pleased me at first, but I couldn't help but instantly question if it was true or just part of her act again.

"Thanks," she said, tugging me into the room. I sat on the further edge of the bed, keeping a careful eye on her. She frowned at the distance between us.

"Aren't you going to feed me?" She asked hopefully.

"No," I told her coldly and instantly saw the light die in her eyes. I clenched my jaw and looked away because I couldn't bear to look at her and not want to touch, soothe, and do everything for her.

Immediately, I questioned whether I had done the right thing by agreeing to this. My emotions were still rocky, and I hadn't sorted them out yet. I was afraid I would do something stupid and regretful if I didn't control myself.

"Okay," Arika said, taking the tray and setting it on the bed before she sat next to me. I understand." She said and fell silent for a while, not touching the food.

"You're not eating," I told her coldly.

"Right..." she muttered and shifted closer to me.

"Ivy... " she sighed, and my dragon growled at the name she called me, wanting to get closer to her. But I didn't do such a thing and sat quietly, waiting for her to speak. "I want to start by saying I regret doing what I did. I'm a pirate, and it's my job to take advantage of people and loot them, but that's not an excuse for what I did. I... I feel guilty and terrible about deceiving and leaving you."

I clenched my jaw hard as I continued to listen to her because I couldn't tell if she was telling the truth or making it up to win my sympathy. I wanted to believe that she was telling the truth.

"You know, I've done terrible things to people but never felt this terrible before. I felt terrible doing what I did to you all. I felt terrible while doing it, but I kept doing it because I was scared and wanted to leave. I thought I'd be alright once I got out of here, but I wasn't. I felt miserable when I left and..." She trailed off, sighing heavily. "I missed you all, especially you,"

"You're not eating," I told her quietly when she looked at me, expecting me to say something, but I didn't.

"Ivret...I'm not good at apologising because I never had to face the consequences of my actions, but I will try it. I'm sorry for taking advantage of you... gosh, that sounds terrible... I'm sorry for using you, for breaking your trust and heart. I'm sorry for everything." After she was done speaking, the two of us sat in silence.

I replayed her words in my head, trying to understand if she was lying. I wanted to look at her to judge this better, but I couldn't bring myself to do so.

"Aren't you going to say something?" she asked after a long pause. Her voice was a whisper. I could feel her eyes on me, expecting an answer, but I had none. If anything, her words amplified my inner turmoil. Now, I didn't know what to think or feel.

I wanted to believe her, but I had no reason to.

"I have nothing to say," I told her honestly.

"Okay," she whispered.

"I'll leave now," I told her, getting up from the bed to leave.

"Will you visit me again?" she asked, hurt and desperation in her voice. As I moved, I caught her reflection in the mirror of her dresser. Her eyes were red. She looked on the verge of crying, and that almost broke me.

"I don't know," I hissed, leaving before I could break and give in. 

~

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