Come find me | Luke Hemmings

Thirty Two: Month Four

I woke up this morning with Luke's call, I rub my eyes and frown my face as I check the clock. 3:23am. I slide the green button and his face pops on my phone

"Sorry I woke you up" he's at his bunk on the bus "But I really needed to see you, hear your voice and stuff"

"You called me earlier" my voice was rough, I turn the light on and sit on my bed running my hands through my wild hair

"I just miss you" he sighs and licks his lips. "We're heading to Orlando" he tries to make small talk.

I'm not complaining or anything but he really had to call me on the middle of the night to tell me they're going do Orlando? I mean, I want to see his face twenty-four/seven but this seems a bit unnecessary

"Actually that's not why I called" he shakes his head, looking confused

"Are you alright, Luke?" I frown my face, he's not like this. He doesn't do small talks.

"To be honest, no I'm not" his voice is serious "I know you're working with Karev"

Boom. My mouth dropped and my voice disappeared. My first instinct was to apologize but I couldn't find my words.

"You don't have anything to say about it?" I could hear the annoyance in his voice.

"What do you expect me to say?" The words leave my mouth and I cannot believe I'm giving him attitude

"That you're sorry, at least" he rolls his eyes "I'm done telling you to stay away from Karev"

"I'm not sorry" and I really am not "I know what I'm doing, Luke"

"Do you really?" His voice was pitchy and I get the feeling he's upset "You know what that guy is capable of and every time I tell you to stay the fuck away just seem to make you go closer to him. It's unbelievable"

"What I can't believe is you not trusting me!" I snap the words "I know how far I can go, I don't trust Karev but I like how things are going here"

"He's making seem nice so he can get you closer to him!" Luke's pupils are wide "And I can't believe you're lying to me again!"

"Well, you're not the understandable type are ya?" I roll my eyes "Can't you just accept that I'm finally okay? For the first time in months I'm holding up and working for Karev is whats keeping me sane"

"You couldn't just find something less dangerous, could ya?" He sighs "I don't like this Alaska"

"But I do" My voice is so strong "And you'll have to find a way to bare with it cause I won't stop working for him" my mouth is a straight line and his face is frowned

"Why are you being like this? This is nothing like you" he shakes his head and sighs, controlling his temper

"This is me now, you're just upset because I won't obey your words" its harsh but its true

"You're so stubborn" he bites his lower lip and clenches his jaw. His harsh tone hits me like a brick "Can't you see I'm trying to protect you? You know I can't lose you" he frowns his forehead and sharp his voice

"If someday you lose me won't be because of this" I look into his eyes trough the screen "I guarantee you"

He sighs and clenches his jaw. He knows what I mean. He knows that if we're hanging on a tread right now is because of what he did. I feel the distance weighting on us right now, despite the physical distance I always felt him so close to me, his voice in my mind mind and his face in my memory, but now it feels like he's numb inside me.

"I know you didn't forgive me at all but I need you to know how much you mean to me" his voice is appealing "You're the only one I love. I can't lose you" he clears his throat and sighs "I know I fucked things up pretty badly but I'm willing to change so I can be the best I can for you"