Come find me | Luke Hemmings

Thirty One: Month Three

The night I found out about the groupie thing I couldn't even sleep I was just lying on my bed thinking how he could have done such thing and since I like to put myself through pain I even imagined him kissing someone else, telling her how pretty and tight she is.

Luke called me but I couldn't bring myself to talk to him, just looking at his picture pop into the screen made me cry like a baby. The last thing I want to see is his face. Taylor begged me to at least hear him out but I just can't, because it's hard to believe that the same person that makes your heart skip a beat and lights up your world can be the same person that breaks your heart.

It has been two weeks since that night. I haven't replied to any of his texts or emails, when he calls I throw my phone as far as possible from me, even when he drop hints for me on Twitter I just ignore them. I don't care if I'm being childish by shutting him out like this but I need my space right now, I know Taylor's right and I should hear him out but I can't because no matter what he says, I'm dying to believe and forgive him.

Work with Karev is easing my pain, at least there I can laugh and forget about this drama in my life. Paul is my new partner, Karev thinks I'm better out there delivering drugs because I have a nice friendly face. Paul and I are friends now and I even told him about the groupie thing, he agrees with me but told me that I should listen Luke, that I should give him the benefit of the doubt. He said that sometimes men do things they don't mean to just because they can, it doesn't make any sense.

I got home from the daily deliveries and sat on the couch and turned the TV on. That gossip channel that Taylor loves so much was on, the blonde girl was talking about 5SOS my heart stopped.

"Recently some groupie photos of our Australian mates have been released and caused some trouble on Luke Hemmings' paradise with his girlfriend" she says like she knew the first thing about my relationship with Luke "Our sources say they might have broken up" Your fucking sources? I hate gossip.

Instantly my phone buzzes with a text, I check it and it's from Luke

*Sorry about whats on the news, please talk to me babe* I can actually listen to his voice calling me babe, I take a deep breath and promise myself to control my emotions. Its time to face it, I can't run from the talk forever.

I FaceTime him and turn the TV off. He answers on the first ring, his sorry face pops up and I already feel my eyes watering.

"Alaska, oh my god" he says with a smile and I bite my lips. "I have so much to say"

"Then say it, please don't make me regret calling you" I do my best to hold my angry face but we both now it's a matter of time until I go soft

"I'm so sorry" he shakes his head "I was drunk and heartbroken because I miss you" his voice is honest and just breaks my heart in half "I know it's no excuse but thats the truth, I shouldn't have payed attention to those girls and I'm deeply sorry about it" he speaks so fast that I actually have a hard time to keep up "Please believe me, please forgive me"

"I don't know if I can, Luke" I avoid at all costs looking into his eyes "How could you cheat on me like that?" I break my promise and start crying, I already want to forgive him. "You're breaking my heart" my voice cracks and I look down to cry more

"You have no idea how sorry I am" I look into his eyes filled with water and I know he means it "I hate myself for hurting you like that, if I could go back in time I'd do things differently"

I can't take this. He's crying, I'm crying, it's too much for me to handle. But how can I forgive him? How can I be sure it won't happen again? He's so many miles away from home.

"I know we won't pick up where we left off but please you have to give me a second chance" he whines and I see actual tears falling from his eyes, they just make me cry even more. He swipes his tears away from his face "Please, babe. I can't lose you, you're everything I have"