Rediscovering You

four

28th January 2023 - one year and five days old.

'You okay?' Steph asks softly as she makes her way over to the brunette who's sitting at a table with her hands covering her face.

'Mm... Just tired.' Imogen replies quietly.

'Rough night?' Steph asks.

'Could say that... I had a therapy session yesterday, the night after is always rougher than usual.' Imogen replies.

'You should've come over. You know my place is always open for you, Imogen. Doesn't matter what time it is, just use your key and let yourself in. Your bedroom is still there.' Steph says. Imogen had spent a total of around three months stay with Steph and Dean before feeling completely up to moving back into her own place and even then for the next few weeks or so she was staying at least a night a week, sometimes more.

'It's okay. I was okay; I just had a nice bath and then curled up with a hot chocolate and a movie.' Imogen replies.

'Right guys, quick announcement before we start our final training session before the game tomorrow... We're down Leah. She's not going to be in for training today and she won't be at the game tomorrow.' Jonas says causing Imogen to glance at Steph.

'Is Le okay?' Imogen asks softly.

'I'm not sure. I haven't heard anything... I'll let you know if I find anything out.' Steph replies. Imogen nods her head and runs her hands over her face as Steph moves over to speak to Lia who has just made her way into the canteen. Taking a deep breath, Imogen pulls her phone out of her pocket and begins to compose a new text message.

****

She's sitting in the rocking chair, Rory fast asleep against her chest as she gently rocks back and forth. She knows logically she could've dropped Rory off at her grandma's today and gone to training, she knows logically she could've been fine for the game tomorrow but she just didn't feel ready to leave Rory after what had happened. She reaches for her phone as it vibrates beside her and lets out a small sigh as she begins to read it.

From Imogen:
Hey, I know you don't want to talk to me and that's fine. I don't want to pressure you to talk but I just wanted to say I hope you're both okay xx

To Imogen:
Hey, thank you. All okay, Rory had a febrile seizure the other night so just want to keep an eye on her but she's okay.

Sliding her phone back onto the table, she leans down to kiss the top of the little girl's head. She can't help but smile slightly as she hears the front door open and footsteps slowly make their way towards the nursery before Alex pops her head round the door.

'I come with food...' Alex says softly holding up a brown bag causing Leah to smile.

'You are the absolute best honestly.' Leah replies smiling.

'Do you want me to take her so you can get some sleep?' Alex asks and Leah shakes her head.

'I'll pop her in the cot... She's absolutely fine, I'm just being a worrier.' Leah replies quietly

'Completely understandable, Le. You got a proper scare and no one can blame you for that. Anyone would've.' Alex says watching the blonde slowly pop Rory into her cot and turning the baby monitor on.

'So what have you been up to this morning then?' Alex asks and Leah shrugs her shoulders.

'We played a bit this morning and then we've just been in here snuggling.' Leah replies as they leave the nursery and make their way through to the living room.

'How's she sleeping? She okay?' Alex asks.

'Mm... She's in my bed. I know I said I wouldn't do it but I just- It was either that or I sleep on her bedroom floor.' Leah replies.

'You do what you need to do. It won't be forever.' Alex says softly.

****

'Hi...' Lia says softly as she sits down next to the brunette.

'Oh um- Hi?' Imogen replies quietly as she bites her bottom lip. She's been actively avoiding the Swiss since she began to make her return to training because she knows just how close she is with Leah and she's heard all about how protective she's been lately.

'How are you doing?' Lia asks.

'I'm okay, getting there I suppose.' Imogen replies shrugging her shoulders.

'We've all been so worried about you.' Lia says causing Imogen to raise her eyebrows slightly.

'You have?' Imogen asks and Lia nods her head.

'Of course we have. You're our friend, part of the Arsenal family now.' Lia replies.

'Thank you.' Imogen says softly as she glances up at Lia.

'I am sorry, you know? For hurting her. It was never my intention.' Imogen adds and Lia nods her head.

'I know that and so does she but she's just guarded. She's been through some stuff, had her own struggles over the past few months and she just needs to let those walls down again... I'm not promising it'll happen but I just- She's guarded.' Lia explains.

'Mm... I get it. I fucked up. I just don't want any of you guys to hate me.' Imogen admits.

'None of us hate you, Imogen. I'm sorry if I've ever given off the impression that I do, I just- Le's my best friend and I'm a bit protective, maybe a little too protective at times.' Lia says.

'It's okay... I get it.' Imogen replies shrugging her shoulders.

****

'Have you seen Imogen at training yet?' Alex asks as she gently bounces Rory on her knee.

'Mm... Not at training, I seen her at the game the other night.' Leah replies.

'Oh, how did that go then? Did you guys speak?' Alex asks and the blonde shakes her head.

'She tries but I just wasn't ready. I wasn't in the right headspace at that moment to deal with it.' Leah admits.

'Can I ask something? You don't have to answer me if you don't want to but what's you're overriding feeling when you think about her?' Alex asks.

'I think there's just so many unresolved feelings there. I just- I have so much anger for the way she just went silent and I know that sounds terrible but I do. I also know that deep down somewhere there is still a hell of a lot of love got her but I don't know how to resolve the anger.' Leah replies.

'Do you think maybe speaking to her could help? Talking over how you feel and how she feels? See where you both stand?' Alex suggests causing the blonde to sigh.

'I don't want to say the wrong thing and set her back. She's just back at training after five months. I don't want to be the reason she has to take more time off.' Leah replies.

'I think if Imogen has reached out and tried to start that conversation then the ball is now in your court.' Alex says softly.

'I just- I don't know what to do.' Leah replies shrugging her shoulders.

'Just take some time. Don't rush into it, Le. What we don't want is for you to end up back where you were five months ago, do we?' Alex says and Leah shakes her head.

'I know.' Leah replies.