Rediscovering You

fifty-one

14th January 2024 – one year and fifty weeks old.

'What's going on? What's happened?' Leah asks softly, her voice laced with concern as she makes her way into the bedroom where the brunette is sitting on the edge of the bed with tears streaming down her cheeks. She'd expected to find the brunette dressed and ready to head to the game but instead she's sat still in her pyjamas with her hair pulled back into a messy bun.

'I-I-' Imogen begins shaking her head as she struggles to catch her breath causing the blonde to immediately rush over to her. She bends down in front of the brunette and reaches out to grab hold of her hands as Imogen shakes her head.

'Hey, you're okay... Take a deep breath. Breathe with me, babes.' Leah says softly. She spends a couple of minutes coaching the brunette through her breathing until eventually she lets out a small sigh and allows her body to sink forward into the blonde's arms.

'What's happened, Ims? Do you want to talk about it?' Leah asks and the brunette shakes her head.

'I-I don't think I can play today. I'm not in the right headspace.' Imogen admits and Leah nods her head.

'Okay, that's okay. Why don't you phone Jonas and let him know? He'll understand and he'll be able to alter the starting 11 if you do it now. I'll go get Roo changed and we'll have a cosy day?' Leah suggests reaching out to gently wipe some tears from the brunette's cheeks.

'I don't want to let the team down.' Imogen almost whispers.

'Listen to me, if you aren't feeling great whether it be physically or mentally then you don't play. If your head isn't in the game then you're putting yourself at risk of injury so if you're not mentally there then tell him you can't play.' Leah says softly and Imogen nods her head.

'Okay.' Imogen replies quietly.

'I love you and whatever you need, I'm here. Okay?' Leah says softly as she leans forward to press a kiss to the top of the brunette's head.

'I love you.' Imogen replies.

****

'Are you going to help mummy pick out some special treats for Immy?' Leah asks softly as she lifts Rory out of her carseat and balances the little girl on her hip.

'Mimi not well?' Rory says as Leah locks the car and they begin to make their way towards the large supermarket.

'She's just feeling a little bit sad so we need to cheer her up and just give her lots and lots of cuddles, okay?' Leah replies.

Okay.' Rory says grinning as Leah grabs a trolley as pops the toddler into the little seat at the front and fastens the straps around her body. They've left Imogen at home taking a nice, hot bath to come out and pick up some supplies for their cosy afternoon that the blonde has planned in place of attending the game which they were both supposed to attend.

'What will we get her?' Leah asks as they make their way into the store. She smiles as she watches the little girl pout slightly as she glances around as if she's seriously thinking about what they can buy for Imogen.

'Choc-choc...' Rory squeals.

'Mm... I think Immy would really like some chocolate. That would really cheer her up.' Leah says smiling. They walk around the supermarket picking bits up for the brunette including some new pyjamas, chocolates, facemasks and a lovely 'you're my happy place' card. She's still not 100% sure what's going on with Imogen but she knows that whatever it is, she needs a whole lot of love today.

****

'My mum said she wishes I was the one who died instead of Logan... She said I'm the reason he killed himself and I'm the reason that he never got to settled down, get married or have kids so why do I deserve to get any of that... She said soon enough you'll walk away because I'm not good for your image, for your reputation.' Imogen almost whispers causing Leah's arms to tighten around her as they lie on the sofa wrapped in each other's arms.

'Firstly, the reason Logan didn't get to experience any of those things were because of who Logan was and because of the crimes he chose to commit. Secondly, the fact that she as a mother can even say that to you is absolutely disgusting, babes. Thirdly, I'm going nowhere. Your mum doesn't know me, she doesn't know how much I love you.' Leah says softly, her fingers gently brushing against the brunette's hip. She feels the brunette's body physically relax against her as she lets out as small sigh as she shakes her head.

'I don't know why I still let her get to me.' Imogen admits biting her bottom lip.

'Because she's your mum, babes. Because despite everything she's said and everything she's done, you still love her which is perfectly normal. I couldn't even imagine something happening now between me and my mum and having to deal with that...' Leah says.

'Why won't she just leave me alone? If she hates me so much why doesn't she just leave me alone and stop contacting me? I'm not contacting her.' Imogen asks, tears filling her eyes.

'I don't know, babes. I really don't know the answer to that one. Do you think it would maybe be beneficial to maybe block her number? So she can't contact you?' Leah suggests.

'Maybe.' Imogen replies.

'I'm not saying that you should, I'm saying if it gets too much then that is an option.' Leah says and Imogen nods her head.

'Thank you for today... For the treats, for the card, for convincing me not to go to the game... I think I really needed this.' Imogen admits and Leah smiles as she presses a kiss to the top of her head.

'You've got nothing to thank me for, Ims. I just want you to be okay.' Leah says.

'Mm... I will be.' Imogen replies nodding her head.

****

She hums softly as she gently rocks from side to side with Rory cradled against her chest, the little girl snuggly wrapped up in a blanket as she struggles to keep her eyes open. The room is dimly lit by the light which is peeking in through the blinds as she continues to run her hand down the toddler's back, a small smile on her face as Rory's breathing begins to even out as she slowly falls asleep in the brunette's arms. She continues rocking her for a few moments to ensure she's definitely asleep before carefully transitioning the toddler from her arms into her cot.

'Sleep tight, beautiful girl...' Imogen says softly, her finger gently brushing down her cheek before she slowly backs out of the bed room and closes the door behind her. Once in the hallway, she's immediately engulfed in the blonde's arms who pulls her back against her chest and presses a kiss to her shoulder.

'I absolutely love watching you with her... I love you because you're you but I love you so much more when I watch you love her.' Leah almost whispers.

'It's hard not to love her.' Imogen replies shrugging her shoulders.

'I'd resigned myself to the fact that it was probably always going to be just me and her, maybe I'd give her a sibling somewhere along the road but I never imagined someone like you would walk into our lives and love us both.' Leah admits.

'Mm... I never imagined someone like you would turn my world completely upside down and slowly help me piece myself back together but here we are.' Imogen says smiling.

'Bear's in our bed...' Leah says softly.

'Of course he is.' Imogen replies playfully rolling her eyes at the blonde who is obsessed with the puppy.