Rediscovering You

twenty-one

23rd April 2023 – one year and twelve weeks old.

'Oh, Le...' Beth says softly as she makes her way into the living room where the blonde is sitting at one end of the sofa with her leg stretched out in front of her. Rory is curled up at her side, her head resting against the blonde's hip as Leah runs her fingers through her hair.

'I'm okay.' Leah replies quietly as she tilts her head to glance up at the blonde who smiles sympathetically as she makes her way closer. Leaning down, she hugs Leah tightly as the other woman uses her free arm to wrap around her.

'I'm okay now. I've had my tears, I've had my meltdowns. I'm looking forward now and working on getting the swelling down so I can get the surgery.' Leah says and Beth nods her head.

'I'm so sorry you're going through this... I wouldn't want anyone else to go through this, Le. When we seen you go down on the tv I just- Ugh I wanted to be there.' Beth admits shaking her head as she takes as seat on the armchair opposite the blonde.

'Can I get you a drink, Beth? What about you, Le? Do you need a top up?' Amanda asks making her way into the living room.

'Can I have a orange juice, please?' Leah asks and Amanda nods her head.

'I'll just have the same, Amanda.' Beth says smiling.

'I knew as soon as I'd gone down what I'd done. I just- I knew. I felt the pain and I felt the pop and then nothing.' Leah says and Beth sighs.

'How are you feeling now?' Beth asks softly.

'I'm okay. I'm sorry for not initially replying to your messages or that I think I just needed a few days to process everything.' Leah replies and Beth nods her head.

'Understandable, Le. No one blames you for shutting yourself off for a while. It's a huge injury to deal with, to process.' Beth says smiling slightly as Amanda passes her the glass of orange juice before placing Leah's on the table beside her.

'Do you want me to pop her into bed, sweetheart?' Amanda asks glancing down at Rory causing Leah to nod her head.

'Please, mum.' Leah replies smiling. Leaning down, she kisses the top of the sleepy little girl's head before Amanda lifts her into her arms and makes her way through to the nursery.

'How are you managing?' Beth asks and Leah shrugs her shoulders.

'Wally's staying here so she's pretty much parenting Rory for me at the moment. There are obviously bits that I can still do and stuff but things like bathtime and that is just too much.' Leah replies and Beth nods her head.

'It's good to have someone around to help.' Beth says.

'You'll get through this, you know. It's not going to be easy but we've got you. Viv and I are going to be right by your side throughout it all, okay? Whatever it is you need, we're right here.' Beth adds causing Leah to smile.

'Thanks, Beffy.' Leah says quietly.

****

'You've been quiet today... You okay?' Steph asks softly as she slides into a seat next to the brunette who is resting her head against the window as she stares down at her phone.

'Mm... Just got a lot on my mind.' Imogen replies quietly as she glances up at the Aussie who reaches out to gently squeeze her knee.

'Do you want to talk about?' Steph asks.

'I just feel a bit on edge. I'm finding it really hard to sleep at night and I just- I don't know.' Imogen replies shrugging her shoulders.

'Are you still taking your medication?' Steph asks and Imogen nods her head.

'Mm-hmm... I think I just- My dad reached out and I don't quite know what to do with it.' Imogen replies glancing back at her phone as she sighs.

'When was the last time you spoke to your dad, Imogen?' Steph asks softly.

'Months... In fact, I don't think I've even spoke to him this year.' Imogen admits.

'Okay, so what do you need from me right now? Do you need me to just sit here and listen? Do you need me to give you space to process it all or do you need me to talk it through with you?' Steph asks.

'I don't know. I don't know what I need.' Imogen admits.

'Right, why don't you tell me how you feel? What's stopping you for getting in touch with your dad? As far as I'm aware, he hasn't had any contact with Logan over the years, has he?' Steph asks and Imogen shakes her head.

'I just- I don't understand why he can still look at her in the face when she's done that. He told Mia that he understands why she still wants to be in contact because at the end of the day he's still their son.' Imogen replies quietly.

'And how does that make you feel?' Steph asks.

'Angry. Hurt. Let down. I just feel like by being in contact with him they're dismissing everything he put us through as if now it somehow doesn't matter? But it does matter. It matters to me and it matters to Mia. I just- I live with it every single day in ways that they don't even know... I feel like I don't even have a family anymore. Like I'm all on my own.' Imogen admits, tears filling her eyes as she glances back out the window.

'Firstly, you are absolutely not on your own. I know we're not blood but I like to think this team is a bit like a family away from family. We all love you so much, Imogen. Secondly, what you went through does matter. It is something that doesn't even bear thinking about but it matters and it's not fair that their actions are causing you to feel like it doesn't.' Steph says reaching for Imogen's hand. The brunette hesitates before putting her hand in Steph's and using the other one to gently wipe her cheeks.

'It just hurts to think like I just- I could never imagine having a relationship with someone who did what he did, regardless of whether he was my son or not and I just don't understand why she won't give me any answers.' Imogen replies and Steph nods her head.

'I wish she'd give you answers, Imogen. I wish she'd give you the answers you need to get the closure that you deserve.' Steph says gently squeezing her hand.

'W-Would you maybe be with me when I read the message when we're back at the hotel?' Imogen asks quietly and Steph nods her head.

'Mm-hmm... Of course I can. If you want me to be there, I will be there. Who are you sharing with again?' Steph asks.

'Laura.' Imogen replies.

'Right, I'm in with Kim so why don't I ask Laura to swap for the night? You've said you're struggling to sleep at night; maybe I'll be able to help.' Steph offers.

'You don't have to.' Imogen says and Steph smiles slightly.

'I want to.' Steph replies.

****

Staring down at the phone in her hand, Leah takes a deep breath as her finger hovers over the send button for a few seconds before finally sending the message and placing her phone down on the arm of the chair.

To Imogen:Saw you pulled out of the starting 11 lastminute. Hope you're okay. I know I've been MIA lately, I'm sorry. I love you x