Rediscovering You

thirty-eight

2nd October 2023 - one year and thirty-six weeks old.

'We weren't expecting you in today?' Lia says softly as they watch the blonde make her way into the gym with Rory balanced on her hip.

'My mum came to stay with Ims. She was feeling Roo but you wouldn't let me put you down, would ya?' Leah replies as she gently bounces the little girl.

'How is she?' Lia asks putting her arms out to Rory who immediately shakes her head and buries her face in the crook of Leah's neck.

'It's awful, Wally. Honestly, like I think of when she did her ankle but this feels so much worse. She's just really not herself at all.' Leah replies.

'It's a bad concussion though, Le. You know how bad they can be.' Lia says.

'I know I just- It's different when you're watching someone else go through it, isn't it?' Leah says quietly and Lia nods her head.

'I know but she'll be fine.' Lia replies gently squeezing the blonde's shoulder.

'How's Imogen doing, Le? I wasn't sure whether to expect you in today.' Jonas says as he makes his way over.

'She's struggling. I'm here because my mum went to sit with her but I'm not pushing it, Jonas. I've barely slept over the past few days and this one is like a clingy little koala today.' Leah replies and Jonas nods his head.

'No worries. You can just do as much or as little as you can... There's no pressure on you today. We are always happy to have our littlest gunner with us, aren't we?' Jonas says.

'Thank you.' Leah replies smiling. She sets about getting ready for her rehab session with Rory remaining perched on her hip the entire time.

****

'I can't fucking do this anymore. I'm not doing it anymore.' Leah says shaking her head. Tears filling her eyes as she covers her face with her hand and bites her bottom lip.

'I've got this.' Beth says softly as the physio nods her head. Making her way over to the blonde, Beth immediately pulls Leah into her arms.

'I'm okay.' Leah almost whispers.

'No you're not but that's okay, Le. You don't have to be okay. This is a shitty process. It's a shitty journey that at times feels relentless so you don't have to be okay.' Beth says.

'It feels like the same thing day in and day out... Like I'm getting nowhere.' Leah admits and Beth nods her head.

'I know. It's hard when it's at the stage and you just need to consistently show up and do it all over again. You're also overwhelmed, Le. We can all tell you're overwhelmed with what's happened to Imogen so you've got that on your mind as well... Maybe it would be best if you were to just go home today? Sit today out and start again tomorrow.' Beth says keeping her arms tightly around Leah.

'I just- This is all the parts of the game I hate... I want to be out on the pitch. I want to be able to help the team.' Leah mumbles and Beth nods her head.

'I know. It's hard. Honestly, I wish you guys weren't going through this. It was hard watching Viv go through it but because we both know what you and Laura have got coming, it almost makes it harder to watch you guys.' Beth says.

'Look, why don't you go home and be with Imofen. Rest up, get some decent sleep and Vivi and I can keep little legs for a few hours? She can finish training with us and then we'll take her out for dinner.' Beth suggests causing the blonde to sigh.

'I can't ask you to do that. She's been so clingy lately.' Leah replies.

'She's perfectly happy with Vivi right now, Le.' Beth says softly.

****

'What are you doing home?' Imogen asks as Leah climbs onto the sofa beside her.

'I had a meltdown.' Leah replies quietly.

'What do you mean? What's happened? Talk to me?' Imogen asks wrapping her arms around the blonde.

'Don't know. Just felt overwhelmed and bored with the rehab.' Leah replies quietly.

'Oh, love... Where's Rory? Your mum said you took her with you?' Imogen asks and Leah nods her head.

'She stayed with Beth and Viv. She was so. clingy this morning until she saw Viv then she became her little shadow.' Leah replies.

'How are you feeling?' Leah asks softly as she reaches up to run her fingers gently over the brunette's head.

'I'm okay. I feel a bit better today, still sore and almost groggy? But better than yesterday.' Imogen replies.

'That's good... I'm glad.' Leah replies quietly.

'Here, get under the covers with me.' Imogen says.

'Do you need anything?' Leah asks lifting her head to look at the brunette who shakes her head.

'Just you.' Imogen replies smiling. She adjusts her position allowing the blonde to get under the covers with her, her arms returning to their position around her as she pulls Leah into her side.

'You know you can talk to me, Le? If you're struggling or anything. It doesn't matter that I've got this concussion, I'm still here for you.' Imogen says.

'I know I just- I don't even know what I'm struggling with. I don't know how to put into words how shit it feels.' Leah admits.

'I'm sorry, love.' Imogen says and Leah shakes her head.

'It's just a wobble... I'll be fine.' Leah replies.

****

'Would you like another little girl or would you prefer a boy next time?' Imogen asks softly, the blonde's fingers brushing against her hip as they lie in bed together. They'd spent the afternoon curled up on the sofa, Amanda taking care of them both until Rory was dropped home around dinner time.

'I don't mind. Another little girl would be nice because it would be nice for Rory to have a sister but I had a little brother and although he did my head in at times, I love him.' Leah replies and Imogen smiles as she kisses the top of the blonde's head.

'I think as long as they're healthy.' Imogen says and Leah nods her head.

'Isn't it crazy to think this time next year, all going well, you could be pregnant?' Leah asks and Imogen nods her head.

'So crazy but also just feels so right, you know? Like to the outside world we might seem like we're moving quite fast but it feels so right.' Imogen replies.

'I was thinking maybe when you're better and I'm a bit closer to coming back we could start looking at houses? Somewhere a bit more family friendly.' Leah suggests.

'Sounds perfect to me. Round about this area, yeah?' Imogen asks and Leah nods her head.

'I think this is a good area. It's good for the kids, good for training. Unless you'd rather look further afield?' Leah says and Imogen shakes her head.

'No, this is good with me. I love it around here.' Imogen replies and Leah nods her head. She settles her head down against the brunette's chest and drapes her arm over Imogen, a small smile on her face as she closes her eyes.

'I love you.' Leah says quietly.

'I love you too, Le... So fucking much.' Imogen replies smiling.