One house, One Love

First Date

     I was always the wild child, jumping from job to job, driving freely across the country, doing whatever makes me happy. That life was amazing, made me feel great, but it did not fulfill me or give my life any meaning. So while I was in L.A I decided to be a firefighter. I joined the academy and got placed in the best station there is, the 118.

      Working under captain Nash, and with his crew has been the best experience of my life, besides that time there was a Tsunami, or a bomb.....or even that time a fire truck fell on me...oh and that time I was struck by lightning. It's been a wild ride, but my station is my family, and I couldn't ask for a better one.

Lately, I've been struggling to figure out who I am again, I'm firefighter Buck, but what else? I need something more than just the badass firefighter play boy, I want true love and more meaning with my life. Which in fact is where I am going tonight. I have my first date, with a guy, and it's terrifying. I've never done this before.

I am going on a first date with Tommy, this totally awesome, and totally hot pilot for the Los Angeles fire department. I'm so nervous, but pumped at the same time.

"Buck! Hello, earth to Buck!" Maddie's voice irritably rang, knocking me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah? What were you saying?"

"Umm, are you going to be able to babysit G for us tomorrow night? Howie and I have a date night, and I really need you to do this for me" she asked annoyed she had to repeat herself.

"Oh yeah....for sure" I responded distantly and went back to staring at my phone, waiting patiently for the text saying Tommy is here.

"Buck, what is going on? I have never seen you this nervous for a first date before? Who is this woman?" Maddie asked nudging me in a playful voice.

See, Maddie is my big sister, and I haven't exactly told anyone that I'm gay yet. Well I'm not sure if I'm gay, not really sure what I am. Like I said, first date with a man, and I'm panicking internally, but trying to keep it cool on the outside.

"Maddie, I have to tell you something and I'm kinda freaking out right now" I blurted without even thinking. I have to tell someone. I'm so nervous right now.

"Okay....well, what is it?" She asked with concern in her voice.

"Well....I'm not going on a date with a woman tonight...I'm going out with Tommy" I told her softly and hesitantly.

"Oh my god! Buck that's so exciting!" She screeched, but then thought for a minute "wait.....how long have you been....gay?"

"I-I don't know, I don't even know if I am gay, it's just I was talking to him the other night after the whole Eddie jealously thing when he came over, and he kissed me, and I kinda liked it. But I don't even know if I am gay or what's going on. Cuz I like him, but I also like women and-"

"Buck! Stop panicking. You'll be fine!" She cut me off and laughed a little. She gave me a hug and smiled at me with reassurance. "Everything will be fine, let me get out of here so you can get ready, but I want details!" She grabbed her keys off my kitchen counter and headed out the front door.

Now I have to figure out what to wear. God this is nerve wracking. I go upstairs in my loft to my bedroom and open the closet. Hmm. Something classy, but not too nice. How about some jeans, and a shirt with a jacket? Yeah. That'll work.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and I jumped. I quickly threw my shoes on and a quick spritz of cologne before nervously walking to the door.

"Hey, you ready to go?" Tommy smiled as soon as I opened the door.