ICT | Incorrect quotes & more

XIX

Rohit: It's been such a long week.

Virat: It's the middle of Tuesday?

Rohit: Your point being?

***

Rohit: I have a headache. Google says I am going to die.

Hardik: Why is Google sending you death threats?

Rohit: Why did God send you to me?

***

Rohit, to Rishabh who is ignoring one of his lectures: I have been your age, you haven't been mine, so pay attention.

***

Hardik's brain: Annoy Rohit bhaiya.

Hardik: But why?

Hardik's brain: You have to.

Hardik: Okay.

***

Ishan: Rohit bhaiya, I have a fun fact you should know.

Rohit, sighing: What now?

Ishan: Accents are just mouth fonts.

Rohit:

Ishan: What do you think?

Rohit: The fonts coming to me right now, for you, are fun facts you will not enjoy.

***

Rahul: Hardik will jump out of a plane for you.

Rohit: Crap.

Rohit: He will jump out of a plane for fun.

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Rohit: God didn't know what he was doing, so he created you.

Virat: Rohit, stop for-

Rohit: I was supposed to be a loner, but then he had an idea called Virat Kohli.

Virat: Just make fun of me please. I have no clue how to respond when he throws this.  

***

Rohit: I get emotional when you are not around.

Hardik: Aww. Really?

Rohit: Yes, that emotion is called happiness.

***

Virat: Guys, when has Rohit ever flirted with me?

Jaddu: I have a list. And it is arranged alphabetically.

Rohit, sighs: Tell him someone.

***

Surya: I hate Zingaat from Sairat.

Surya: Like how the fuck can it get me on my feet to dance??? Every time???

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Rahul, in real life: I hate people so much. 

Rahul, applying for a job: I love working with people and I am very good at communication.

***

 A young Ishan, to the school librarian: Can I get a cheese sandwich please?

His friend: Bro, this is a library.

Ishan: Oh sorry.

Ishan, whispering: Can I get a cheese sandwich please?

***

Rohit: Can you tell me what this fight is about so I can fix it?

Shubman: You can't.

Rohit: Let me try. 

Ishan: Shubman called me short.

Shubman: Fix it.

Rohit: You were right. I can't.

Shubman: Told you-

Rohit: But I can kick you, so that you double over and bend down to become shorter than him. What do you think, you giraffe?

***

Rishabh, holding a radio in one hand and his air pods in another: Rohit bhaiya! Rohit bhaiya!

Rohit: What?

Rishabh: I can't connect my air pods to this thing. Can you help?

Rohit: Can you get lost?

***

Mahi: I hope you three have an explanation for this.

Virat: Oh we have three.

Jaddu: Each of us came up with one.

Rohit: You also get a pick.

***

Yuvraj: You won't like me when I am angry.

Mahi: Bold of you to assume I like you anyways.

***

Rohit: Being tired isn't even a mood anymore.

Rohit: It's my fucking personality, now.

***

Hardik: Surgery is just stabbing someone back to life, isn't it?

Rahul, totally exasperated: Why don't I perform a reverse surgery on you then?

***

Ishan, randomly smiling while walking on the road:

Rohit: What's wrong with you now?

Ishan: I saw people's pictures on Google Earth today.

Ishan: They were bad.

Ishan: I don't want mine to turn out like that.

***

Interviewer: I request you not to insult me like that.

Rohit: I am not insulting you.

Rohit: I am describing you.

***

Virat: Rohit what do you think of me?

Rohit: Somewhere between fuck you and I'd fuck you.

Virat: I-

***

Mahi: Have you ever been in love?

Rohit: No, but I assume it to be the same feeling you get when you see the waiter arriving to your table with food.

Jaddu: And break up might be the same feeling you get when you see the same waiter walk past your table to the table next to yours.

Mahi: .....I will give them points for creativity.

***

 Hello everyone, hope you enjoy this one too.

Do drop your reviews. Thank you.

cheers xx.