ICT | Incorrect quotes & more

XVI

Hardik: Rohit bhaiya, Jassi is in the pool and I don't think he is waterproof.

Rohit: What?

Virat: Hardik, is Jassi drowning?

Hardik: Yes, I might've pushed him-

Rohit: Ah okay-

Rohit: WAIT WHAT?

***

 Rohit: If I ever wanted to kill myself-

Rohit: I would climb up to Virat's ego, and then jump down to his IQ.

Virat, rolling his eyes: Bitch.

***

Interviewer: One day, you will be a father. 

Mahi: One day? I already am.

Interviewer, laughs: The youngsters of the team don't count, sir.

Mahi, slamming his hand on the table: THEY ARE MY KIDS!

Mahi: Even if I want to donate them at this very moment-

Mahi: THEY ARE STILL MY KIDS.

***

Jaddu: Hardik, I will give you an advice.

Hardik: Yes?

Jaddu: If the door ever says pull and you push, it is not directions, it is a challenge.

Rohit: So you taught my kid that stupid shit? 

***

Rahul: You know what sucks?

Hardik: Vacuums.

Rahul: You know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?

Hardik: Black holes.

Rahul:

Rahul, sighs: You know what isn't cool?

Hardik: Lava.  

Rahul: You are dead to me.

***

Rishabh: If I was kidnapped, what would you do?

Virat: Nothing.

Rohit: Wait for them to let you go.

Virat: Voluntarily. 

***

Virat: Did you know I slept in late today, after so long.

Rohit: Why, when did you wake up?

Virat: 6:30.

Rohit: I-

Rohit: It is literally 11:30 now, and I woke up just 15 minutes ago.

***

Virat: Hey

Rohit: Hey?

Virat: I can't sleep.

Rohit: I can, good night.

***

Mahi, hoping for a normal day: Good morning!

Rohit, trying to write with both his hands: Good morning, bhaiya.

Virat, eating coffee cubes and drinking milk separately: Morning bhai!

Jaddu, trying to pick up a dead mosquito with pens acting as makeshift chopsticks: Good morning Mahi bhai.    

Mahi, forcing a smile: A normal morning it is.

***

Rohit: Jassi is helping Sammy solve word problems in math.

Rohit: And Hardik is wondering what the guy named Ben, had done after buying 120 bananas and 200 apples.

*** 

Yuzi, at 1 am: Is the s or the c silent, in scent?

Rishabh: So this is why Kuldeep wanted to switch rooms.

***

Rohit: You can be really mature for your age when needed.

Rahul: Thank you, it's the trauma.

Rohit:

Rohit: Why are all of them polar opposites?

***

Jassi: Bhaiya, I screwed up, big time.

Rohit: Oh my God, what is it? Are you okay?

-

Hardik: Bhaiya, I screwed up, big time.

Rohit: On the basis of your day to day incidents, you will have to be more specific.

***

Jaddu: Sometimes I like to place my hands on someone's cheeks, look into their eyes-

Rohit: Aww Jaddu.

Jaddu: -and then jerk their heads until it snaps.

Rohit: 

Rohit: That...took an unexpected turn.

Jaddu: So did their neck.

***   

These are for today, guys. Hope you enjoy.

Drop your reviews! Good night.

cheers xx.