Rohit: On my way, back from the grocery store. Why do you ask?
Virat: Uh...you took me to the store with you?
Rohit:
Virat:
Rohit: SHIT.
***
Hardik: I am Hungary.
Ishan: Maybe you should Czech the fridge?
Hardik: I am Russian to the kitchen.
Virat: I am outta here.
Virat:
Virat: Rohit?
Rohit, tearing up: They know names of countries other than the ones we have played against.
Rohit: I am so proud.
***
Shubman, typing password: Ishan.
Computer: Password too short.
Shubman: I know.
***
Jaddu: What is something no one knows about you?
Rohit: I get jealous of my phone when it dies.
Mahi: My kid needs treatment.
***
Rohit: Jaddu, while I am gone, you are the senior so you are in charge.
Rohit: Don't accidentally kill someone.
Jaddu:
Jaddu: Rohit, do you think I am in idiot?
Jaddu: Don't accidentally kill someone.
Jaddu: I am not an idiot. I know how to do it on purpose.
Rohit: I-
***
Rohit: Who will be the lucky one to sleep with me today?
Rest of the team: What the f-?
Rohit, grabs the fkn T20 World cup: Aww baby, come here my long lost child, I am never letting you go now.
Rest of the team, emotional and super proud: OUR CAPTAIN, Y'ALL!
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our world cup winning captain, yall🤌
***
Rishabh: I hate you with every inch of my body.
Shreyas: That is not a lot of inches, so I guess I am fine.
***
Rohit, perched up eagerly in front of Mahi: Mahi bhai, you are so smart and you know so many weird things. Tell me, what is the boiling point of the brain?
Mahi: It is all of you combined, raise to the power infinity, degree Celsius.
Rohit, thinking: Mahi bhai to personal ho gaye, maine to aise hi pucha tha.
***
Robber: Give me all your money or else you will die.
Rohit: Bold of you to assume we have any money.
Virat: Bold of you to assume we don't want to die.
Robber:
Mahi: Us bro us.
***
Virat: When I was born, I was given a choice.
Virat: To be really handsome or really smart.
Rohit: And what did you choose?
Virat: To be handsome, of course.
Rohit: So even God disobeys wishes?
***
Hardik: If I had a million dollars, I'd buy a million melons.
Rahul:
Hardik: And become a melonaire!
Rahul: Bro, you really need to be back in kindergarten before all the seats are taken bro.
***
Rohit: Can I borrow a pen?
Virat: Oh yeah, sure.
Rohit: It does not work.
Virat: It does?
Rohit: Yeah? Can you try writing your number on the piece of paper then?
***
wtf are these so fun? kya matlab i want to keep on writing these all day?
