courage dear heart | Yuki Ishikawa

43

I sat across from my father in the large, impeccably arranged kitchen of our estate, the room echoing with the silence of our breakfast. The sun filtered through the tall windows, casting soft light on the polished surfaces, but the atmosphere felt heavy, laden with unspoken thoughts.

We ate in near silence, the clinking of cutlery the only sound breaking the quiet.

Then, as if breaking through a carefully maintained barrier, my father spoke. "Ishikawa Yuki is a good match for you," he said abruptly, his voice cutting through the silence.

I looked up, startled. It was an unusual compliment from him, but he continued, "He's a famous athlete and quite capable. Having someone like him as part of your life would not only be beneficial for you personally but would also present a positive and enhanced image for our company."

His words were both a surprise and a strange sort of validation. It seemed he was acknowledging Yuki's value beyond mere personal approval, seeing him as an asset in the broader context of our family's reputation and business interests.

I couldn't help but think how much better it would be for Yuki to stay away from this family.

I didn't want him to become a pawn in my father's schemes for economic gain. His approval felt like a veiled attempt to control and influence, rather than a genuine gesture of understanding or support.

As I waited at the airport, I decided to turn on my new phone and check the social media buzz surrounding me. I scrolled through posts and photos, my heart sinking with each swipe.

I saw images from Aspen and Yuki's match. To my surprise, there were pictures of me with Yuki's family during the Christmas season. The contrast in public opinion was striking. Some fans were angry, while others praised me as beautiful and talented.

Among the posts, there were numerous discussions about my family, my mother, and my father's company. Many expressed sympathy for my situation, while others dismissed me as a spoiled girl using Yuki for personal gain.

Feeling overwhelmed, I turned off the phone. The whirlwind of conflicting opinions left me exhausted and disheartened.

I closed my eyes and tried to relax with some music.

What if I disappeared completely? Or if I went back to the dorm?

My father could make Hanbin's life difficult because of me, and I didn't want to hear Hanbin blaming me for being a burden in his life after he had worked so hard to secure his position in the family business.

Everything changed after my mother left us. I still had happy memories of our vacations together in the mountains, where we were all so content.

Hanbin preferred to ski with our father.

Dad was always smiling and sweet to Mom. There wasn't a day he didn't bring her flowers.

I remember how Mom would pretend to be the tough one in the relationship, but secretly, she would smile at every kind gesture from Dad.

We often traveled between Italy, France, Denmark and Switzerland. We never missed her competitions; the three of us were always front row, cheering her on.

As a child, I wanted to be as strong and confident as she was. She never let anyone push her around.

I dreamed of a love as sweet as theirs. I wanted to marry a man who looked at me the way Dad looked at Mom.

I felt happy and protected because I had Hanbin with me. He was always ready to defend me and followed me in all my craziness, even those that got us scolded by our parents. He never abandoned me.