courage dear heart | Yuki Ishikawa

14

Today had been a long and intense day.

I stayed under the shower's stream longer than usual, letting the water wash over me as I reflected on everything that had happened.

It had been a long time since I'd had this much fun. My life had always revolved around obligations—studies, internships, and snowboarding.

Yes, the past two months I'd been "living" with more freedom than before, allowing myself to pursue my goals more freely, but spending my free time with people outside of my team—playing games or simply sitting down to enjoy a popsicle—was a new experience for me.

I smiled at the thought. It made me feel lighter, and maybe, just maybe, I could even say happy.

I changed into some comfortable sweatpants and a long-sleeved t-shirt.

A knock on my door made me look up, and when I opened it, I was greeted by Reira's sweet face, which instantly made me smile. I swung the door open wider to let her in, and she took a seat at my desk chair.

"You look happy, Nabi," she said, using my name as she often did when we were alone.

"Today was nice. I had a good time."

She began swinging her legs, which didn't quite reach the floor. "Yeah, today was fun, but tomorrow it all starts!" She leaned back in the chair, stretching her arms wide like a starfish.

I stifled a laugh. "True. From tomorrow, we have less than two months until the X Games, and I still feel far from landing a 1800."

"Give yourself time to learn and make mistakes. You can't be so hard on yourself all the time."

I sighed softly. "I know I could do it if I just pushed harder..."

She looked up at me. "I know you can do it, but that doesn't mean you need to overdo it, okay? Your senpais are here to help you."

"I know, I know," I said, blowing her a kiss.

She leaned her head back, resting it against the chair. "I'll have to work hard, too, if I don't want my kohai to surpass me so easily. You've only been here for a short time, and you're already catching up to all of us."

I giggled. "Like you said, I have great senpai to teach me. I still have a long way to go before I reach your level. You've come so far."

"I don't know... Sometimes I doubt myself. It feels like I'm not improving anymore..."

I moved closer to her, cupping her face in my hands so she would look me in the eyes.

"You're amazing, and you're improving every day, even if you don't see it. We all have doubts about ourselves, but don't let them cloud your vision. Don't forget how much you've already accomplished, how much effort you've put in, and the small steps forward you make every day towards your goals. Those count so much. If you ever need a reminder, I'm here to list them all for you."

I saw her big eyes glisten with unshed tears, and her little nose was turning red. A tear slowly rolled down her cheek.

Her lips trembled as she looked at me, and I pressed my lips together in response.

After a moment of thought, I wrapped her in a hug.

We didn't say anything more; there was no need.

We stayed like that for a few minutes, with me gently rubbing her back before pulling away.

"I should be the one consoling you since I'm your senpai," she said, wiping her eyes.

"But you're not just my senpai—you're my friend." I handed her some tissues and then stretched.