A Beginners Guide To Falling In Love

15

Music
1.400 lux - Lorde
2.Intruxx - Glass animals
3.Colors - Halsey
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A perfect haze, a distilled image that could keep me distracted until the next time I would enter that state of mind again. It could be a peaceful place where everything went my way, or a terrible dark place that made me become afraid of new things for a while. Either way it was a distraction from reality, and I began to escape the real world as much as I could, until I had fully recovered again. So for the past few days dreaming has been my new home, because it allowed me to forget the past for a while, and I didn't have to see people that were a constant reminder of everything that had happened.

One day I would eventually face it, but it won't be today or tomorrow or the next day after that. It would be when I was ready, and that seems far away.

I haven't seen Chloe since the accident happened, but James and Brad have visited a few times, but apart from that I've just stayed in my room and tried to sleep as much as I possibly could each day.
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"You need to stop this, please." My eyes snap open as I recognise James's soft voice. "Hey."

He sits beside me on the bed, and slowly stands as I pull myself to sit up.

"When are you going to come back?" He asks.

"I don't know, maybe a couple of days." I tell him.

"Come on, this isn't fair. You said that the last time I asked you, and that was a week ago." He sighs.

"I might tomorrow, I don't know, I'll have to think about it." I reply.

"Don't think, just go in and you'll be fine, I promise." He says.

"Okay."

"Good, anyway I need to go, I have to go meet with Tris and Brad." He tells me.

"Bye." I say and he gives me a quick hug before exiting the room and leaving.

I don't know if I can do this again tomorrow, what if the same thing happens. What if I hallucinate again and make myself look completely insane.

Just do what James said

The same sentence repeats itself in my head and I decide to get out of bed fully, because I haven't in a while. I needed to get over this and I've had too much time, I wanted a bright future for myself and it was slowly becoming out of reach with everyday I spent missing hours of education that was vital for me to be able to get the job I so desperately wanted.

The first step to becoming human again was actually starting to give a shit about my life and what type of person I wanted to be. I found myself changing out of my bed clothes and into a pair of jeans and tank top, I then continued and walked downstairs. So far this seemed like an achievement to me, as if I was beginning to recover and move on from everything that happened to me.

As soon as I entered the kitchen my parents looked up at me with unreadable expressions on their faces.

"Feeling better?" My mum asks.

"Yeah, much better." I say quietly and taking a seat on a chair.

"Well, the Simpsons asked me and your dad out to dinner tonight, so I'm afraid you'll have to stay here, unless you want to come?" She asks.

"No, it's okay, have a nice time." I say.

"Well, I heard Brads not going, maybe you could do something with him?" She smirks.

"Yeah, maybe." I mumble trying to hide my now red face.

"Okay, well we'll see you later." My mum says standing.

"You're leaving now?" I ask.

"Yes, there's some stuff in the fridge, don't be round brads too late, or if he comes here. Well that's even if you do go round each other's." She replies as they leave.

"Brad!" I hear her voice exclaim.

I rush round to the front door to find him there talking to my mum, he then glances over toward me and smiles, which causes little butterflies to form in my stomach.

"You can stay as long as you like, but no funny business." She warns and closes the front door behind her.

As soon as she's gone I walk toward where Brad stands, and he looks at me confused.

"Either you're a fraud and pretending to be ill, or recovered exceptionally quickly." He says.

"No, actually it was one of James's motivational speeches." I tell him.

"James was here?" He asks.

"No, well yeah, but only for like five minutes don't worry." I say.

"I am worried, I feel like there's something between you and James, and that to you, me and you are nothing." He replies, sadness in his voice.

"Brad I promise you me and James are friends nothing more, I like you, not him." I tell him.

"I like you too." He says taking my face in his hands and bringing his lips to mine slowly.

As soon as his lips meet mine, our kiss is filled with a heated mess of emotions, and it seems to become more intimate each time we kiss. My hands make their way through his hair, and I part my mouth allowing him to enter. As the kiss deepens the door bursts open and a rush of cold air hits me, and me and Brad instantly pull away from each other.

"Forgot my purse." My mum smiles awkwardly at us and my face instantly heats.

Brad laughs at me mortified reaction, and I hide my face in his chest for a few seconds, until my mum returns back to the hallway.

"Right, I've got everything now." She says to herself. "Be safe." She looks directly at Brad as my face turns an even deeper shade of red.

When she leaves for the second time Brad resumes the kiss and leans in again, but pulls away and only gives me a peck on the lips and I pout instantly. Shit, I actually just pouted, he smirks and takes my hand leading me through to the living room.

"What film should we watch?" He asks, well that was a sudden change in mood.