A Beginners Guide To Falling In Love

18

Music
1.Ugh! - The 1975
2.Shine - Years and years
3.Drowning - Banks
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He stands in the right hand corner of the hall, directly in front of one of the biggest windows I've ever seen, he looks straight back at me while he talks to his friends, well their my friends to, but I have a feeling they won't be by the end of the night. I desperately search the crowd for Brad and spot him outside, past Sean, I try to telepathically call for him, but it doesn't work. I take a deep breath and blow on my thumb to relieve some of this intense anxiety I am experiencing.

As I begin to walk through the crowd, I try to hide myself behind people, I stay close to centre where the doors are, but I see Sean begin to make his way to me. Please don't come near me, I mentally plea.

"Hannah, wow you look amazing." Elle says before I pass her.

"I need help, please." I tell her.

"Are you okay, you're shaking." She says worriedly.

"Just distract Sean, he's coming over please." I reply quickly.

"Okay, yeah definitely, where is he?" She says just as quick as me and begins to look around.

"Behind me, on the right hand side, he's coming over to see me." I tell her and try to control my shaking body.

"Right, okay, listen to me. I'm going to make my way in the right direction and around this area behind you, and you're going to go all the way to the left and make your way to the door by staying as close to the wall as you can." She rushes, and makes her way in the direction she told me and I do the same.

I walk right beside the wall ignoring everyone that starts to talk to me, I begin to speed walk as fast as I can and fortunately make it to the door without him finding me. I walk outside and the music softens and the cold breeze calms me. I find Brad and begin to make my way to him and walks towards me, he pulls me into an embrace as soon as I get to him. I practically collapse into his arms and slowly exhale, feeling relieved.

"Are you oka-" he stops as soon as I pull away from him. "You look beautiful, well even more than that, wow. I'm speechless." He says and kisses my forehead.

"Brad, he's here, you ha-"

"Don't worry, he's not going anywhere near you, I promise." He tells me softly and places his hand on the side of my face and brings our faces closer together.

"Brad, I can't thank you enough." I say craving his touch.

"Sshh." He replies and places his lips on mine.

My hands shoot up to the back of his neck and slowly make their way up to his hair as the kiss deepens. Even though we're this close I still can't get enough of him. The kiss is filled with so many emotions, which makes it unlike any other kiss we've ever shared. Brad softens the kiss and then slowly pulls away, while I continue to kiss him, until he starts to laugh lightly and pulls me away from him.

"Your lipsticks going everywhere." He chuckles, and I do as well when I realise it's all smudged over his mouth and right cheek.

"Well, I'm glad that's over, here." Chloe hands us some tissue and me a lipstick as well.

"Thanks," I say as I feel my face heat up.

"By the way, I think it would be best if you had a drink for later when we humiliate him." Chloe says as quietly as she can over the music, she then turns to Brad. "You are to deny the fact that you two are a thing in front of him, as far as he's concerned your friends."

"I don-" Brad begins to argue before Chloe instantly cuts him off.

"Do you want this to work, for her sake?" Chloe tells him referring to me. "If he knows you're taken, then he won't ask you out with the shitty ring and there will be no humiliation." She then walks off.

"I'm getting a drink, you want one?" Brad asks.

What happened to staying by me the whole time? Then again I'm not a child I don't need to be so dependant on other people.

"Sure, I'll have what you're having." I tell him.

"I'll watch you, stay close to James." He says sternly then walks off to the bar indoors.

I begin to make my way to where James is standing, until I instantly freeze as I feel a pair of arms snake around my waist, from behind me. I recognise his touch straight away and a fire starts to burn inside me, I can't control my emotions, but I can control my actions, to an extent. I'm pulled closer into his body and he whispers in my ear from behind me.

"Remember me?" I wish I didn't.

"Erm, Luke?" I lie, trying to resist his touch.

He raped you, you can't love him.
What about before he did?
Before, when he was a different person, people don't change.
He changed from nice to cruel?
But he's not going to have changed back.
What makes you assume that, we should give him a chance.
Fuck off no, and if he would've changed why didn't he apologise for what he did to you?
Fine, you win, but we have to do as Chloe says.

I mentally debate myself for three seconds and then I snap back into reality.

"Playing hard to get are we?" He chuckles grimly. If this boy doesn't let go of me I will rip his balls off faster than he can say the usual desperate ex boyfriend phrase 'I've missed you.'

"No, I'd just really appreciate it if you let me go." I almost growl.

"There's a few things I'd really appreciate as well, but I'm sure we'll get round to them later." He breathes on the side of my face and slides his hands further down my body.

All I see is red, and black if he fucking continues with this. It's strange how I can be so anxious to see him, when really he just makes himself look desperate and practically humiliates himself. How was I so afraid of him? Before I almost rip him off of me and punch him where it hurts, I make up a mantra. Think of the humiliation later, and how great that will feel.

"Yeah I'm sure." I bite my tongue and mentally laugh at him.

He hums and then brings his face down to kiss me from behind? However that works, either way I'm not having any of that business. I manage to duck and escape his hold, I turn to face him and stay a good thirty centre metres away, that is until he steps closer.

"Still trying to hold up this hard to get act." He says laughing and biting his lip. "You looks so sexy."

I mentally cringe, but can't help but notice how much he's changed. He's more muscular and has now got an eyebrow ring piercing as well as the one he now has in his lip. He is not attractive, I continuously remind myself.