A Beginners Guide To Falling In Love

25

Music
Freazy - Wolf Alice
Cool - Troye Sivan
Still sane - Lorde

Brad never came over last night, I thought he would, but he didn't. It made me even more sad to think that maybe he never turned up to ask about anything or sort our situation out because he had moved on. I wouldn't blame him if he had, he was sort of forced to after seeing me and James together like that, I know I would've felt the same.

I lay in my bed for an eternity while thinking about Brad, I need to stop this, because my obsession with him is creeping me out. But I can't help but think about what we could've been. I slowly pull myself out of bed and take a long shower scrubbing my skin roughly so it stings in hopes of removing memories as well as dead skin.

I slipped on whatever the first thing I saw in my wardrobe was, which luckily was comfortable and sort of went together. I then trudged downstairs checking the time which read 9:46am, which meant that I missed my parents again. Today was my free day so I didn't have school today and I didn't have it tomorrow either. So now I'm completely alone.

I make myself toast and check my phone while waiting for it. To my surprise I have five texts and a missed call. I am then shocked when I see that Brad has tried to call me and then sent me a text. I open the text and read it a few times to let it sink in and make sure that it's real.

To Hannah Mae

Reply when you see this, I want to sort things out, but only if you want to.

From Brad

I quickly reply with flushed cheeks, sweating, shaking hands and a dry mouth from where it's been hanging open in shock.

To Brad

I just got your message, when do you want to talk?

From Hannah Mae

The reply is instant and I find myself shaking again, which was annoying because I had just calmed myself down.

To Hannah Mae

I'll be over in a minute.

From Brad

I put my phone down on the table and take a deep breath desperately trying to calm myself down all over again. What if this all screws up and he's only coming over to officially end everything between us.

Calm the fuck down, he's probably coming to make everything better and fix what was lost between you and him.

For the first time in what feels like years my subconscious speaks up, and it's finally something positive that has helped me calm down and pick myself back up.

Suddenly a burning smell fills my nostrils and I turn to see smoke rising from the toaster.

"Shit." I say under my breath and dart over to the toaster to switch it off and retrieve the toast which is so burnt that it practically crumbles in my hand. I throw the toast in the bin and wash the toast off my hands.

Just as I begin to put the soap on my hands there's a knock at the door, I quickly rinse my hands under the tap and pat them dry on my leggings and run to the door. I smooth my jumper out and then open the door.

"Come in," I say and hold the door open for him.

"What's that smell?" He asks, charming.

"I may have accidentally burnt toast and possibly broken the toaster." I tell him and he smiles as if he's about to laugh, but quickly stops himself.

I lead him through to the living room and he takes a seat beside me on the sofa. I feel my heart beating in my chest and he turns his body so he is facing me and his eyes look me up and down.

"Natalie told me what you told her, is it all true?" He asks.

"Yes. I would never want to do anything with anyone else apart from you I promise," I say already rushing my words and then begin to ramble. "I have no feelings towards James and I never knew he did for me, he was just there for me when I was having trouble with everything. I was looking for you, I wanted to talk to you and James was second best that's why I was with him. I-"

"It's okay you don't need to say anymore, I get it." He says softly while chuckling lightly.

"I'm sorry." I reply holding back the tears that are threatening to spill.

"I'm sorry for being a dickhead and not giving you a chance to explain yourself. All along I knew deep inside you weren't like that." He says wrapping his arms around me and I melt into him.

He shuffles closer to me and I lay my head on his shoulder, our bodies are lined up against each other. He looks down at me and I can feel the tears now sliding down my cheeks as the guilt from what I did to him hits me.

"Baby don't cry." He whispers softly while kissing my forehead.

I then just fully swoon for him, and feel emotions more intense than I did before.

I lift my head off his shoulder and hold it millimetres from his face, so that I can feel his breath on my face.

"I want to kiss you." He whispers and his eyes darken.

"Then do," I whisper back.

He then places his lips on mine and before I know it he deepens the kiss and slips his tongue in and we both fight for dominance but I let him win, while I keep one hand in his hair and the other at the hem of his shirt, whereas his hands are on the back of my neck and the small of my back. He pulls me onto his lap and we both focus back on kissing.

He then forgets we're sitting on the edge of a sofa and not on a bed and pushes me back so his body is on top of mine, but we both fall backwards off the sofa and our lips lose each other as we begin to laugh.