Countryhumans Oneshots

ASEAN Nonsense

ASEAN meeting, requested by UshankaCat.

"How have we gotten to this so quickly?" ASEAN asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Hey, you were the one who gave us thirty minutes to gossip. This is not on us," Philippines said, breaking off from his conversation with Singapore, Papua New Guinea, Brunei, and Malaysia about how much they hated Britain or something along those lines. He was pretty sure Britain had been mentioned.

It was a surprise Myanmar hadn't joined them, but he seemed content to stare out the window and ignore them.

"That was not an invitation to start gossiping," ASEAN said, feeling so very tired.

"You lock us in a meeting room all day and expect us not to start gossiping," ASEAN's mother, Thailand, asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Would you rather I beat up Indonesia again? Because we can do that if you'd like," East Timor offered unhelpfully, even though he was supposed to be an observer state.

"No beating people up. Timor, I know you and Indonesia have your differences—"

"He tortured me!"

"I did not!" Indonesia snapped, turning to stare down the smaller country, who simply shot him a rude gesture.

"Please. Stop this. You, except for Cambodia, are all much older than me. You should know that this is an important meeting, and we need to pay attention to it," ASEAN finished, shooting his member states with a tired smile.

"We will," Brunei said with a dismissive wave of her hand, "After I finish catching everyone up on the fact that I heard from Commonwealth, who heard from Scotland, that Britain has started therapy."

ASEAN blinked. Britain getting therapy. Miracles could happen.

"Huh. Never thought I would see that day. Continue then, but make it short. The sooner we finish, the sooner we can go home," ASEAN said. Laos laughed.

"Tired of us already?" he asked.

"I'm tired of you all the time," ASEAN said.

"Then you are truly one of us," Vietnam joked. ASEAN almost asked her who she was tired of but stopped, realizing it was a stupid question.

"We're all constantly tired. Let us joke a little, pretend to be human," Singapore said, "We don't get very much time to do that."

"Because God forbid we be treated like people," Papua New Guinea, ASEAN's other observer state, muttered. ASEAN felt a sliver of guilt in his stomach, very familiar with that feeling. They all experienced some sort of discrimination due to their species. For some, it was worse. For others, it was better.

ASEAN was very familiar with it. He was the organization, the political being that could feel nothing.

"Sorry. I'm just...stressed." ASEAN said, relaxing. His mother patted his arm, smiling softly.

"We know. You put too much on yourself. We have learned that sometimes, it is better to take breaks," Thailand said. ASEAN smiled.

"Thank you, mâae," he said.

"Besides, you can't say you don't want to get involved in one of the world's favorite hobbies—gossiping about Britain," Malaysia said. ASEAN rolled his eyes.

"Please, I know you do more than just gossip. And Myanmar hasn't joined you, so clearly, it's not everyone's favorite," ASEAN argued.

"Leave me out of this!" Myanmar called, turning away from the window for the first time.

"Well, you heard the man. Myanmar wants to leave ASEAN. Cast your votes now to get Mr. Grumpy to leave," Cambodia said. ASEAN let his head fall to the table.

He didn't care what people said.

He was skipping the next meeting.