The Fire Within (Book 1 of Dragonfire series)

Chapter 24

I slowly opened my eyes, and felt a migraine coming on. I closed my eyes for a while, before slowly opening them again. I was in the infirmary for what seemed to be the hundredth time. I wiggled my fingers, and felt something wrapped around my left hand. I looked down and saw a hand over mine. I followed my gaze up his arm, and into his eyes. Cullen was smiling, but I could tell he was really hurting. He stood up from his chair and hugged me lightly, careful not to hurt me.

"I'll be right back," he left and returned a few minutes later with a nurse. She explained to me that I would feel like shit for a few days as a result of the emotions flooding my system. I guess it really put a strain on me mentally, but it would go away within a few days and I would be fine.

"I have to warn you, you might not want any company for a day or so," she warned.

"Why is that?"

"Well, your emotions need to get readjusted, so you will experience major mood swings. Let your friends know this so they don't take anything personal." This is not going to end well. I thanked her as she left us in peace. Cullen climbed on the bed next to me and I laid on his chest. I remembered my encounters with Alfio and decided being honest with Cullen was my best shot.

"Cullen, I need to tell you something..."

"Yes?" He stroked my hair calmly.

"I did things, when I turned my emotions off. I'm not proud of them, but I did them and-"

"Alena you don't have to explain yourself to me, or anyone else. What happened in the past can stay in the past. We both did things we regret, but there's nothing we can do to take them back. Can we just start over and move on from here?" I could tell he was still very guilty about the things he said to be under Ravyn's control.

"Okay," I smiled up at him before closing my eyes and hoping my head would stop pounding. I woke up a few hours later, but Cullen was no longer there. I slowly got out of bed and returned to my room to take a shower. My muscles were very sore from my fight the night before. The hot water loosened them and helped me clear my mind. I put on a robe, and walked into my bedroom. Alfio was pacing back and forth, but stopped when he saw me.

"Hey I wanted to come check on you, see if you were alright." I smiled and looked down at the floor. "I know some things happened between us while your switch was off, so I guess I just wanted to clear things up between us." I suddenly got a strange urge in me. I walked up to him and put my hands on his cheeks, pulling him into me for a kiss. It was long and meaningful. Why did I just do that?

"I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. My emotions are adjusting right now, so please just stay away from me until things settle out. I don't want to keep making bad decisions until my thoughts are straightened out and I can figure out what I want." He nodded and left silently. I sighed, frustrated at myself for feeling so strongly towards him. I put on running shorts and a t-shirt, and went down to the cafeteria. I ate my breakfast slowly, happy that I was actually able to feel happy. After, I walked to Kokel's office to talk to him. So much has happened lately that I felt I needed to pay him a visit. I knocked on the door shyly, and he greeted me warmly.

"Hello Alena, how have you been?" He looked very tired.

"A lot has happened lately. I'm not sure exactly why I came here, but I felt that I should talk to you." He smiled and sat in a chair facing the couch. We continued to talk about the witches and Cullen. Eventually, I gained the courage to talk about flipping my switch. It was hard talking about it, but I knew he would understand and not judge me. I really needed a conversation like this. I thanked him for talking to me, and left feeling like I had lifted a weight off my shoulders. I walked into the training room, and stopped as I felt heat rising in my body. Cullen was doing pull-ups shirtless on the other side of the room. I couldn't help but stare at his sculpted back. Oh no, my emotions are acting up again. I quickly turned to leave, but was stopped when he called my name. I gulped as he walked up to me.