Love Maze | BTS 8TH Member

Butterfly

*Arin POV*

We were unwinding in our dorm, ready to get those precious, rare hours of sleep, after practicing for almost the whole day. It was visible that we were all exhausted, but we still needed to shower before sleeping. So we were taking turns for the bathroom as we usually do. It was Jimin's turn now, so he headed for the bathroom door as soon as Hoseok got out of it.

I was relaxing on my bed while waiting for my turn to shower, scrolling through my phone, and reading comments our fans and others had left on Twitter. There were comments praising our group's versatility but majority of the comments were about me. And they were...not positive at all.

People absolutely hated the fact that I, a girl, had debuted in a seven membered-boy band. They criticized my appearance, height, and weight but it was bearable until they started making mean comments about my skills. They said it was very boyish and unsophisticated of me to rap. Maybe this was why Bang PD and our managers didn't allow my solo rap verses to be included in our songs.

But these mindless trolls didn't stop there. They belittled my singing, which was my strength, and pointed out minute voice cracks I had made during the debut performances. Well, if they were so unhappy with my skills, maybe they should try singing smoothly while dancing to a powerful and hard choreography.

Speaking of choreography, they also condemned my dancing, which of course I knew wasn't the best, but it still hurt to hear that. The way they worded their comments was anything but constructive criticism.

They've even "asked" me to leave BTS alone. They wanted me to leave the group and my boys because they believed that I was pulling them down and not letting them shine and become successful.

This kind of response from the general public got to me sometimes, but I kept going on. Maybe one day, they'd see how hard I work...how hard we all work. But there were days when it got too much, and I just snapped at everyone. Unfortunately, today was going to be one of those days.

My relationship with Yoongi had not been good at all since the day we met. One second, he's...civil and the next second, he's cold to me. Was he bipolar or what? But still, I've made many attempts to reconcile and become friends with him but he doesn't get that shit inside his head. We fight at least once a day and it's always because he starts it first.

We already fought this morning because of the different types of the lyrics we both had composed for the same beat. My lyrics were optimistic, obviously, while his were introspective. He didn't like the vibes my lyrics were going for, so he started arguing with me. We were literally at each other's throats when Namjoon had to step in to separate us.

Since today's fight quota had already been completed, I thought the pestering was done and that Yoongi would leave me alone. But no, he had to bother me.

I was peacefully sitting on my bed while reading the mean comments directed at me when Yoongi scoffed. "You're reading the comments again? Maybe you should listen to what they say. It would be good for us and them."

My face flushed with offense as I exclaimed, my voice accusing, "What? I'm trying to ignore them, but it's hard when people keep attacking me the most. I probably get more hate than all of you...all of you combined."

My head was throbbing from today morning's fight and twelve hours of hardcore practice and now, he wanted to fight again. Couldn't he stop irritating me for even a moment? But I wouldn't back down. If he wanted to pick a fight, let him. I'll fight back.

Yoongi rolled his eyes, and said, his tone condescending and accusing, "Yeah, you get the most hate because you need to improve. But you know what? It's called feedback, Arin. Maybe you should listen to what they have to say. It might help you improve and then you'll get less hate. Simple."