Everything with you

Part 32

Justin

"Why are you acting weird?" I ask Nate. I was on the phone with Emma, and he just asked me if something was wrong with Hayley.

"I'm not acting weird. It's just that... it sounded urgent," he says casually. I get a feeling that he's trying to cover something up.

"Do you know Hayley?"

"Um.. I met her last Friday. Do you want to come back in so that we can finish off our talk?" he says rather quickly. I give him a nod and follow him to finish coming up with our game plan.

When I was finally back from Nate's, the house was quiet. I entered as silently as I could not to wake anyone up. I was halfway up the stairs when I heard a voice that startled me.

"Late night, huh?"

"Fuck! Jeez.. you scared me!" I grunt out, looking at Don sitting on the couch.

"Sorry.. I didn't mean to scare you," he says, sounding sorry. The room was dark, with the only light coming from Jo's room. She left her light on sometimes when she slept.

"What are you still doing here? I thought you'd be back by now."

"Yeah.. I thought I'd leave, but Joanna wanted me to drop her off at school tomorrow."

"You know what you're doing, right?" I say as I make my way down the stairs to face him.

"What am I doing? Dropping my daughter to school?" He responds sarcastically.

"Did you even think about what would happen if you left again? You staying here being 'Father of the Year' to Joanna. Helping mom out. I know it's all an act! What happens when things get tough again?" I let out a laugh and continued.

"Oh, I know what'll happen. You'll leave us again. Just like you did last time. At least last time you had the decency to not get our hopes high, but now.. what you're doing is just cruel... To get both of their hopes high."

He just stares at me in silence. We were both facing each other now; I could see anger in his green eyes as they mirrored mine. His tone was laced with irritation as he spoke.

"Justin.. I know what I did, and I regret every minute of it. I was an idiot back then. I am not even going to defend myself, but now I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I've had about enough with you on this matter. I'm still your father and Joanna's. You might be legal, but she's still a minor. I'm next in line to take care of her if anything happens to Lily. I know you're not on board with that, but frankly, now I don't give a fuck. Either you get on board or do whatever the hell you like. I may be out of your life, but I for sure as hell am not going to be out of your sister's."

"The hell you are! I can take care of her," I say out.

"Come on.. We've been over this. You can't! Stop being a fucking baby about it!"

I open my mouth to say something back when we both hear a loud thud from Joanna's room.

"Where's mom sleeping?" I ask him.

"In Joanna's room," he says as he turns to go into the room. I'm right behind him. We enter the room to find my mom on the ground shaking. She's having a seizure. I'm not sure what to do. I stay frozen at the door as I see Don fall to the ground, attempting to hold on to my mom. He turns to me and says something, but I don't hear anything except the ringing in my ears. I look over to see Joanna's eyes glassy-focused on my mom.

Don's voice cuts the ringing, "Justin! Call 911 now!" he shouts. My brain finally comprehends what he tells me. I call 911 and give them my address. Ma doesn't stop seizing until the paramedics reach our house and give her an injection. She goes unconscious after that. They take her to the hospital, and I go with her. I hold her hand the entire way, silently asking her to hold on. Asking her not to leave us. I watch the monitors like a hawk. Don had offered to bring Joanna in his car. They were right behind us.

Ma was admitted into the ICU. The doctors were walking in and out of the room in a hurry. A nurse was repeatedly asking me to sit and get out of the busy doctor's and nurse's way, but I couldn't stand in one place. I was prancing around with anxiety. Don and Jo were seated, and to be honest, they both looked terrified, as I think I looked. When the doctor finally came up to speak to us, Don and I went to him, leaving Jo in the chair.

"Mr. Shepard, you do know that your wife's currently not on any medication to treat her cancer?" he says calmly.

"Uh.. yes. She stopped taking them a couple of weeks ago," I answer instead of Don.

"Well, I'm afraid I don't have good news. Her cancer has spread a lot more than we anticipated it would. It's spread to her brain and lungs. The brain is causing her seizures, and her lung functions are not optimum. Now, we've given her medication for the seizures, but she's having a bit of trouble breathing on her own. We need to put her on a ventilator to help her breathe."

"Okay, can't we do that?" my dad says.

"That's the tricky part. When we put her on the vent, the machine breathes for her. At her stage, there's a good chance she might not wake up. We would need your consent to put her on it."

"What? What do you mean she won't wake up? You can't do that?" I say with frustration.

"We pretty much don't have a choice; she's critical. If we have any chance to help her make it through the night, we need her to be on the vent or else she'll not make it," he says slowly with sadness.

"No! That can't be it. We must have some other option," I say again in a pleading tone, hoping the doctor would give us something.

"I'm sorry.. I really am. I wish there was better news, but unfortunately there isn't. We need an answer sometime. Another doctor will be here to check with your decision." With saying that he goes back into the ICU.

I look at my dad. "What are we supposed to do now?"

"I think we need to put on the vent. We don't have any other choice."

"But she might not wake up, Dad..." I say it softly, like I'm afraid of even saying it out loud. My voice catches in my throat. I look over him to see Jo watching us anxiously. This was hard. He resonates in my pain. I was actually shocked to see him this upset. He gently holds my shoulder.

"I know.. but all we do now is hope that she does.".