Everything with you

Part 35

Emma

Mrs. Shepherd's death was unexpected to me. I really had hoped she would pull through. When I saw Justin after his mom passed away at the hospital holding Joanna, my heart broke. All I could see was a boy in pain over the loss of a beloved parent. He'd become silent from that day. He didn't cry or express anything much. His friends Nate, Ash, and I tried comforting him, talking to him, and being with him constantly, but it was of no use. It was as if he had built a shield around himself. He responded to whatever was asked of him, but he said nothing more. We were very worried about him.

The funeral service was held today, it was really a beautiful service. Mrs. Shepherd's students had shared wonderful things about her. I sat with Joanna and Justin for the service where  Joanna cried the entire time. Justin held his sister's hand tightly with grief streaked across his face. Joanna was handling things like a child would; she's practically sticking to any adult in the room; it was either Justin or his dad, and at times me. At times I feel like she's still not fully realized that her mom is gone; she keeps bringing her up many a time, and every time she does it makes her cry.

It felt like Mr. Shepard was the only one with a level head throughout this whole thing. He took care of everything from the hospital to the funeral. Even though he looked just as tired as Justin did, he did not have the luxury to grieve. He stepped up and did what needed to be done. It was almost like Justin's mom knew; she knew that Justin and Joanna wouldn't be able to handle this, her absence, well. Mr. Shepard had also understood this; he played his role perfectly.

After the service, dinner was arranged at home. Family and friends who had come for the service gradually started leaving. 

"You're not sleepy yet?" I question her. Joanna and I were in her bedroom now.

Joanna's now under covers in her bed. I can see her eyes are drooping, but she's refusing to sleep.

She shakes her head, "No."

"You've had a long day. Close your eyes and relax," I say gently.

"I'm scared Emma..", she says shakily.

"Why are you scared ?", I question gently.

"I'm scared something bad will happen if I sleep, my mom died when I was sleeping", she says tears welling her eyes.

"Your mom was sick Joanna, She's in a better place now, where she's happy and I'm sure she's watching over you right now..", I say trying to assure her.

She reluctantly closes her eyes and tries to sleep.

We're both startled by a loud argument going on downstairs.

"I'll go and check out what's happening; you stay here okay?" I assure her. She gives me another nod. I quickly make my way downstairs into the den, where Justin and his dad are standing face to face. I quickly scan the room to see it was empty; Nate and Ash must have left. It was already quite late.

"What's going on?" My voice cracks the atmosphere in the room.

Mr. Shepard's the one to turn around and face me. He let out a big breath; his face looked defeated, and his eyes were surrounded by dark circles.

"Emma. I was telling Justin that I'm planning to take Joanna back with me upstate."

"The hell, you are!" Justin yells from behind him.

Mr. Shepard shakes his head in frustration and looks towards his son, "Justin, come on.. I need to get back to my job."

"Then go.. Joanna's not leaving with you."

"What? She's going to stay here with you?" he questions.

"This is the most you've spoken since your mother died. You're barely able to keep it together; how do you expect to take care of her? She's got school; she's still a kid. She needs a parent! Can you be that?"

"Whose been taking her to school, whose been giving her hot meals three times a day? Was that you? Or was it me?"

Justin remains silent.

"She's still grieving her mom, and she probably will for a long time. If she stays here, she will not be able to overcome it. She needs someone who will be there for her and take care of her; can you be that?" he questions him again.

"I can," he says quietly.

"You can, son. I know you can, but I don't want you too. Your mom didn't want you too, he says softer this time.

"I would ask you to come with me too.. but you have your team here, and in two years you'll be out of college. It doesn't make sense for you to come, but for your sister, it's a must that she comes."

Justin takes a seat on the couch, still silent. I felt he understood now what his dad said. Joanna really did deserve a great life. It's not that Justin couldn't provide that, but he shouldn't have to do that. His dad might not have been a good parent when they were younger, but now he was the only one holding it together.

Mr. Shepard stood beside Justin and kept his hand on his shoulder. He gave me a look and headed into the kitchen.

I walked towards the couch and sat beside him.