Everything with you

Part 43

Justin

Alone, I sank into a chair, burying my face in my hands. I did what I thought was best for her, but the ache in my chest told me it might have been the biggest mistake of my life.

The classroom was silent now, the only sound the faint creak of the chair beneath me as I sat motionless, staring at the door Emma had just slammed shut. Her words echoed in my mind, louder than the silence around me.

"Walking away doesn't make you noble. It just makes you a coward."

I ran a hand over my face, my chest tightening with a suffocating weight I couldn't shake. She was right. I was a coward. But what choice did I have? Keeping her close would've been selfish, dragging her into the mess of my life when I knew she deserved better.

I closed my eyes, replaying the look on her face when I said the words I knew would hurt her the most. The disbelief, the pain, the anger—it was all etched into my memory now, a permanent scar I would carry.

For a fleeting moment, I thought about running after her, pulling her into my arms, and begging her to forgive me. But what then? What could I offer her besides more heartbreak and disappointment? My struggles weren't going away anytime soon, and I refuse to let her drown with me.

I turned my gaze to the desk she had clutched when his words had struck her hardest. The thought of her trembling hands made my chest ache. She'd given me everything—her trust, her love, her hope—and I'd thrown it all away with cold, calculated lies.

But it was better this way. It had to be.

"Better for her," I muttered under my breath, though the words felt hollow. I leaned back, staring up at the ceiling, as if the answer to my turmoil might be hidden there.

I didn't know how long I sat there, lost in the quiet agony of my own thoughts. Minutes? Hours? It didn't matter. The room felt colder without her presence.

"Coward," I whispered to myself, the word cutting deeper than I expected.

But as much as it hurt, as much as I regretted it, I stayed rooted in place, convincing myself that breaking her heart now would save her from greater pain later. Convincing myself that letting her go was an act of love, even if it felt like the end of everything good in his world.

I hear a knock on the door; I look over to see Nate and Ash standing at the door.

"You okay?" Nate asks, his face etched with concern. I look at the desk, letting out a breath.

"Yeah," I say in a hoarse voice.

"Practice started an hour ago; have you been in here this whole time?" Nate questions again, entering the classroom.

"Yeah... kind of lost track of time." I get up from the seat and look at both of them.

"What?" I ask.

"Are you sure you fell down drunk?" he repeated the same question that he was asking me throughout the day. I look over at Ash, who is tilting his head in a knowing fashion, but he doesn't say anything.

"For the 10th time! Yes," I sigh as I respond to Nate as I make my way out of the classroom into the empty hallway with them following me.

"What the hell happened to you, Shepard?" Coach Grayson's voice echoes through the crowded locker room.

"He fell down," Nate says sarcastically. I roll my eyes; Nate was purposefully giving me a hard time today. He knew Ash and I went out yesterday without him. While Ash can keep his mouth shut, Nate couldn't. He knew me longer; we grew up together, and he knew about Henry. He would have definitely not let me set foot into the ring.