The Luckiest

15

"I seriously worry about designers sometimes," Sophie frowned as she held up a red sweater with roses all over it. "Who the hell would wear this?"

"I honestly don't know," Meredith frowned. "Maybe umm...someone who like flowers. A lot."

"Or someone who shouldn't be allowed out of the house...ever," Sophie sighed, putting the sweater down and moving on towards a pair of jeans. "So...was it the barbeque?"

"Was what the barbeque?"

"Is that why we haven't seen you at the restaurant in two weeks?" Sophie nodded.

"Oh, busy, I've been busy, work and stuff," Meredith shrugged.

"Right," Sophie groaned. "Mom's convinced we freaked you out. Well, she was convinced. Now she thinks you're dying or something."

"No...no, it's not that," Meredith shook her head. "I just...it was, things happened and now other things can't happen. Because things...there were things. Lots of things. That were...big and bad and well, just, things changed. And I've been busy. With work and stuff."

"Big bad things?"

"Yes, big bad things. Actually kind of amazing, at least...they were amazing. At one point, definitely amazing. And then things changed because he...and now I just can't. I can't because he can't. And yeah, it's bad. Just bad. Big bad things."

"Meredith, honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about," Sophie shook her head.

"We nearly kissed."

"We being..."

"Derek. Derek and me. Kissed. Well no we didn't. We nearly kissed. Or I nearly kissed him. He didn't have anything to do with it."

"Seriously? When? Where?"

"Barbeque. I was...I was freaking out so I went to find your room and found his and he was hiding from family and we talked. We talked a lot. About things, lots of things. And he wouldn't let me leave. Because he thought I was freaking out but I wasn't, I was just...not freaking out. And then there was...and we...we definitely nearly kissed."

"Mer, that's great!" Sophie exclaimed, a huge grin on her face.

"No. It's not. It's not great. It's definitely not great."

"Why not?"

"I...have you looked...I mean of course you've looked but I mean...Derek's eyes. Have you looked in Derek's eyes?"

"What do you mean?" Sophie frowned as she put down a sweater she had been looking at.

"He's...entirely broken," Meredith whispered.

"Mer..."

"He is, Soph. I don't know...he didn't want to telll me. Or really talk about it. I mean he said things but it was...he told me not to tell people and...but still...he's not...he's beyond sad."

"I know," Sophie sighed. "He's...he hasn't been Derek for a while now."

"I can't chase him."

"Meredith..."

"I can't. He's...he's obviously not ready. He likes me but he's...I can't push him."

"It's not pushing him."

"It is. He's hurting and I can't. He's really hurting, Soph. And I want to be with him. I really want to be with him. Despite all the pain and everything else, I want to be with him. He's dark and twisty and kind of amazing and I really want to be with him. But he's...he can't and I can't just...I need to give him time or something."