The Luckiest

25

It was ironic. Seattle was the rainiest city in the country, it rained daily, and it was constantly cloudy. But today of all days, the sun was out. Shining brightly as he grasped Meredith's hand next to him, it was just...ironic. Of course, nothing about this was normal. There had to be at least fifty people here, if not more. He had never seen a funeral this big, especially at the grave.

He wasn't even sure how many of them Meredith knew. She seemed awkward today. She had been clinging to his hand since they had arrived, not leaving his side once. Not that he was complaining. This is exactly what he was here for. But she was definitely awkward. And he wasn't sure if it was because she didn't know people or if it was because she still wasn't sad.

In the three days since her mother's death, he hadn't seen her cry yet. In fact, she seemed entirely fine. She was eating, she was sleeping, She wasn't working, but that's only because her resident had apparently called her a damn fool and sent her home. Or back to his trailer. She hadn't actually gone back to her house in the past three days, except to grab her own clothes. Apparently Izzie was driving her nuts, baking and constantly asking if she was okay.

He didn't mind. Which entirely surprised him as he wasn't used to having someone around the very crowded space, and he was still sleeping on his couch. It wasn't comfortable but he didn't mind. Meredith needed him. Right now it seemed like he was the only one that was actually bothering to listen to her and figure out what she actually needed. She was where he had been months ago. So he didn't mind having her around.

And now she was here, standing next to him, looking impossibly small in her black dress as she gripped his hand tightly, staring straight ahead at the coffin in front of her. The Shepherds were here too, Sophie standing on the other side of Meredith in a black dress and heels, while Mom and the rest of his sisters stood a little further back, with the fifty people Mer didn't know.

This didn't seem fair. Meredith was going through a hard enough time with this, she didn't need strangers crowding around her. She didn't need people who she didn't know telling her how sorry they were. He was beyond knowing how to help her but he knew this wasn't it. She was broken, entirely broken and strangers saying sorry was probably just making everything harder. He knew it didn't help after his divorce.

She took a deep breath, squeezing his hand tightly and stepping closer to him as the coffin was lowered into the ground. She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve the way her friends were looking at her, like they were waiting for her to break. She was strong. He was starting to learn that at least, Meredith Grey was extremely strong. And the looks she was getting...she deserved more.

He could give that to her, if nothing else. He could at least give her somewhere to escape to where she would be treated like she was the exact same person she had been three days ago. He could give her that and he didn't mind being the only one that could. She had done that for him when he had needed it the most. So clinging to her hand and letting her stay at the trailer was the least he could do.

"Is it done yet?" she whispered to him, clinging his hand tightly. "Can we...trailer?"

"Soon," he murmured. "We'll get out of here soon. Promise."

"Okay," she breathed, looking down at her feet.

"It will be okay," he whispered.

"I'm fine, Der."

"I know you are," he nodded. "And you'll be more fine when this is done."

She nodded, not saying another word until finally it was done, and the priest came forward and said something to her, apologizing for her loss. She accepted the words with a nod but didn't say anything else, still squeezing his hand tightly as people walked up to her, everyone apologizing for her loss. "I didn't know who that was," she whispered to him after a man talked about how the medical community had lost one of the greats.