secrets i've kept hidden (a poetry story)

love me, love me not

it's like ripping petals off the roses,

"love me, love me not"

until i get to the last petal to determine my fate

you seem to have it all,
very cocky

but handsome and a voice like gold

live streaming to texting,
someone like you deserves a girl who will love you down

you got mad at me,
cause i did what i had to do and moved on because wishing me a happy birthday was not even on your list of the bare minimum

you wemt from insulting me,
to raising your ego,
to coming back on my live stream talking about how you don't want me,

but you care,

tell me how that makes sense,

i proceeded to ask him,
and he had no answer for me

other then saying

"i don't know"
and leaves

no one will ever truly no me,
because no one wants to

i'm still ripping the petals off my rose,
i don't think i can finish it

because there's nothing to determine

you were a boy online,
who i was attracted to

i'm sorry you feel that way,

i'm not "fake" and "messy" and a "hoe"
like you say i am

but coming back and telling me you care is just toxic

if you're jealous then just say that,
cause i know how it feels when the guy i want talks to other girls

i did like you,
and showed obvious signs

how did you not notice

we felt the same way,
but you chose to stay street wise

you knew i was talking to other guys,
and you were talking to other girls

so why does it matter who i talk to?