secrets i've kept hidden (a poetry story)

my unsent letter

i have a lot of letters unsent,
these letters sit in my drawer beneath my mirror

i always thought
i'd burn them one day

but they just sit there,
i can never get myself to read them

not now,
not ever

i feel like you don't forget who you first loved,
but you worry them might when it doesn't even matter

my journey so far,
carrying you is getting heavy,

and
i don't know how else to let you just fade away

the thing is,
i don't know if i truly do want you to fade away

the scary thing is,
i don't know if i will ever love another man the way i loved you

and i deserve the best

so why am i still here?
at this stage?

maybe that's why i haven't burned the letters yet

apart of you still lives here