Inner voice

On my own

Where do I start? Where do I begin? With you not giving a shit? With my father calling it quits? No, I will start there where no one cares, where no one compares, where no one dares to call out my name.  The time when I was trapped inside my mind. The times when I was still so blind, blind to all of those lies, all of those fake replies. Just cries in disguise. I was alone, on my own, unknown. Then you picked up the phone and oh I wish I would've known how much you would've grown. And you did. You grew and grew and grew until you finally flew turned into someone new. But this new you doesn't know me anymore. He doesn't hold the door, he just calls me a whore.  That new you hurts me but I stay. I stay just a little bit away, just a little bit grey, but I pray. I do. I pray for you. For you to come back, to say you brought me a snack, to forget you were supposed to attack.  I want to go back to the start maybe then we wouldn't fall apart, maybe we could be smart, maybe you wouldn't depart. But you did, you left me. You left me alone again on my own.  I have grown and I have thrown all of those memories, blown. They're gone you hear me?! All we had it's gone because you left me alone, on my fucking own. But today I stand high, my feet steady on the ground, ready to run, but I don't run, no.  I don't go, I fight for my fucking right, I fight even tho I will be lonely tonight, even tho I can't rewrite  even if I can't make everything alright. I fight. I fought but I lost. I crossed that line I did, it made me feel like everything is real. But it's not it's fake, a mistake I couldn't remake. You left, you moved on, you lived but I stayed, Stayed in that past, stayed in that time where it was you and I. Where I wasn't  talking to a sky, where I could fly, where I got to say goodbye. You left me alone, on my own.