Inner voice

No contact

You said to reach out when things get bad. I told you I couldn't that it wasn't a match. But I left notes, millions and millions of them, some in other languages some clear as day. If you would look at them, not just liking them as if they are some post maybe then you'd ask how my life goes. I wouldn't answer I'd make you scared, thinking maybe you were too late, then I would ignore all of the texts and one day I'd look back and just say damn.  But every single note that I deleted due to it not being seen, stuck inside my head, planning on how to set them free. How do I get the thoughts out of my mind, how do I find the way back to what was mine? It was you L and it was you Z it was him and maybe someone next but all of you were a part of me. Parts that slowly disappeared, leaving me in tears. You all left me, some with goodbye, some with explanation and some with nothing at all. Leaving me hoping that you'd come back, but you never did you all showed me your back's. You ignore my words as they try to find a way through I can't call you I'd be messing up your thoughts too. Afraid to break no contact but scared to be alone, trapped inside my mind where'd that girl go? The one you all loved so much, the one you prayed for before you fell asleep, the one who doesn't fucking scream in tears. Where did she go? Why can't I get her back, because she is stuck, stuck inside your heads? There she lives but sometimes she dies, I hope you treat her alright, the way you never treated my heart. I hope you love her and tell her it's okay, I hope she finds peace that I have taken away, I hope she sleeps without feeling guilt I hope she loves I hope she's free.