Only You....

The end game..

After Arnav left, a heavy feeling settled in my chest. I couldn't shake it off. His words kept replaying in my mind, and I felt very uneasy. I tried to focus on other things, but my thoughts drifted back to him. Deep down, I was worried. No matter how many differences we had, I didn't want any harm to come to him. The thought of anything wrong happening to him scared me to death.

I picked up my phone a few times, thinking about calling him. My fingers hovered over his name, but each time, I stopped myself. In the past many years, I hardly called him unless it was absolutely necessary, and breaking that pattern was not easy for me. How ironic, he is my husband, the father of my daughter, and the only person I've ever shared my heart and soul with. It should be the easiest thing to call him. But despite all the worries and tension I'm feeling, it's so hard. It felt strange to me how distant we had become. Even in moments when I was scared for him when I wanted to hear his voice, it felt like there was a wall between us. A wall built over years of hurt, silence, and misunderstanding.

Misunderstanding!! That thought made me more anxious, I gulped and looked at Arushi, who was sleeping besides me. I kissed her forehead to clam my anxious mind but my mind was becoming restless, as if something big is going to happen today. The whole time after he left, I felt on edge. Arnav's anxious face wouldn't leave my mind, and his words echoed in my head. I kept remembering all the times we had spent together, from our college days to now.

I thought about when we first met in college, how we fell in love, how we became center of each other's universe. And then... how it all fell apart, like none of it had ever been real. Now, we're married, we have a daughter, and he has a successful business—everything I once dreamed of for us. Yet, the love we shared is buried beneath all the hurt and distance.

But today, for the first time in a long while, something stirred inside me. Maybe it was fear, maybe it was something else. Whatever it was, it wouldn't leave me. I glanced at my phone again. Should I call him? I wondered, but once more, I stopped myself.

My thoughts were interrupted when I saw Arushi waking up, stretching cutely. She smiled at me, and for a moment, my heart beat almost stopped—her smile was an exact replica of her father's. Her cute smile was reminding me of Arnav, it has been so long I saw him smiling like this and I know I am responsible for this, but am I the only one at fault?

Arushi sat up and crawled into my lap, snuggling against me, 'Good morning, mumma..' she said sweetly, showing her beautiful smile.

'Good morning, my baby..' I replied, hugging her gently. I was trying to clam my mind on her embrace. 'Did my Aru Shona sleep well?'

She nodded, then looked up at me with a curious expression, 'Mumma, can I go and meet Papa?'

My heart sank. My little daughter needed my permission to see her own father. How did we end up here, where Arushi wasn't even sure when she is allowed to meet her father and when not? I forced a smile, hiding the ache inside me.

'Papa's not here right now, sweetheart..' I said softly, stroking her hair. 'He's in Airport for London.'

Arushi's face fell slightly, but she didn't complain. 'Oh... okay.' I pulled her close again, silently wishing I could give her the family she deserved—the one Me and Arnav used to dream of.

'Why don't we call Papa, and you can talk to him before his flight?' I suggested, hoping it would cheer her up. Her eyes lit up as she grabbed my phone and dialed his number. She held the phone close, waiting for him to pick up. But after a few rings, her smile slowly faded.

'He's not answering, Mumma..' she said with disappointment.

'Maybe he's busy right now.. You can leave him a message. He'll listen when he's free.' I said softly, trying to hide my own worry.