CIGARETTES AND TULIPS // jikook

8 - boundaries

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

jimin had been pacing around his room for a good half hour, getting ready, choosing an outfit, doing his makeup. his cheeks were adorned with a pink blush, his plump lips glistened with lip gloss as he looked at himself critically in the mirror and nervously ran his fingers through his blond hair.

why had he said yes?

he wasn't ready for this. not the dinner, not the talking, definitely not the being alone with jungkook. the whole situation just drove him crazy, his heart wouldn't stop beating at double time. the fact that he would be alone with jungkook, that he had to talk to him after avoiding him for so long. he hadn't responded to his messages, he had avoided him as much as possible.

it wasn't because he didn't like jungkook. on the contrary, he made him nervous. jungkook was beautiful, he was confident and charismatic. he had been consistent and had always tried to get to know jimin better. he had a pleasant way of speaking, he chose his words carefully, he was muscular, well-dressed and nice. jungkook was just fucking hot.

jimin was attracted to him, he felt hot around the neck and in the ears when jungkook's gaze targeted him. he turned under his eyes. 

jungkook had this intense way of looking. on the one hand, it made jimin nervous, he hated being looked at and was always afraid that people who looked at him closely would realize what an ugly and disappointing person he was. on the other hand, jungkook's looks always gave him the naive feeling for a moment that he was worthy of being looked at like that. his gaze was dripping with intensity and it turned jimin's stomach every time.

he kept glancing at his reflection in the mirror, fixing his hair for the fifth time, then sighing. "this is fine," he mumbled to himself. "you look fine."

he had put on his favorite sweater, it sat loosely over his shoulders. with a delicate, thin necklace and some elegant, dark pants.

his hands trembled slightly as he checked the time again. it was already 7:45. "oh god," he muttered, pulling on his shoes and grabbing his jacket.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

he arrived at the bar just before eight, taking a deep breath before stepping inside. the dim lighting and soft music were comforting, but when jungkook spotted him from behind the counter and flashed that easy smile, jimin's heart jumped into his throat.

that man looked almost magical. he was wearing a dark sweatshirt and some oversized jeans with some silver jewlery. 

"hey," jungkook called out, waving him over. "i'm just finishing up with the food. sit anywhere you like."

jimin nodded and awkwardly slid into a booth near the back, trying to calm his nerves. he could hear his heart pounding in his ears, and the thought of sitting alone with jungkook, of trying to navigate this evening, made his chest tighten.

a few minutes later, jungkook came over with two plates of food, setting one in front of jimin and the other across from him before adding some side dishes.

"i hope you're hungry," he said, flashing a grin. "i tried something new tonight."

jimin smiled back nervously, his hands fidgeting with the napkin. "i am, thank you."

they started eating, and jungkook made a point of asking him about uni, casually easing into conversation. jimin appreciated how normal it felt, how they could talk about everyday things without jungkook trying to dig too deep into him. he told jungkook about his psychology classes and the flower shop, about how his mom had run it for years. 

jungkook listened intently, occasionally nodding and asking questions.

"it must be nice," jungkook said, "working in a place like that. flowers are calming."

jimin smiled faintly. "they are. i think that's why i love it so much."

jungkook told him about the bar and how he'd been working there since last fall. "it's nothing glamorous," he said with a shrug, "but it's steady. i get to meet a lot of interesting people."

they were halfway through their meal when jungkook reached out, lightly touching jimin's shoulder as they laughed about something. 

that's when it happened.

jimin froze.

his heart clenched, and a wave of panic swept over him. the room suddenly felt too small, too suffocating, and all he could think about was how he needed space. 

he flinched, pulling away instinctively.

jungkook noticed immediately, his hand retracting. "everything good?" he asked, his voice soft with concern.

jimin's throat felt tight. "i-i don't like being touched. i'm sorry."

jungkook nodded slowly, his eyes still on jimin. "oh, i apologize," he said, bowing his head a little in apology.

"w-what? you don't need to-"

"everyone's got their boundaries," jungkook interrupted gently. "i respect that."

jimin's chest loosened slightly, but his thoughts were still racing. 

"i... i don't know why," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "i just don't like other people touching me. it makes me feel unsafe."

"i get it," jungkook said, his tone steady. "if you ever want to talk about it one day, though... let it be me, okay?"

jimin's eyes widened. he knew jungkook must have been curious, wondering why, but he loved that he wasn't pushing for answers. he was giving jimin space, letting him breathe.

"i... i appreciate that," jimin whispered, his voice shaky. "i really do."

"i want you to feel safe," jungkook said softly, his gaze warm, reassuring.

jimin's throat felt dry, and a part of him wanted to cry. he hated feeling like this, like he was too much, like he was broken in some way. but jungkook wasn't making him feel that way. he wasn't judging him. he made himself feel that way.

"same," jimin whispered, his voice small. 

the room was quiet for a moment, the tension heavy. jimin was still in his head, still trying to process everything.

"i'm sorry, jimin," jungkook said suddenly. "it's my fault. it doesn't matter to me at all, you hear me? i want to get to know you, and i feel so honored to be here with you, tasting my food." he paused, glancing down at the half-eaten plates with a grin. "even though you haven't given me a review yet, and i fear the worst."

jimin couldn't help it. he giggled, the sound soft but real. "it's not bad, sir," he said jokingly, playing along.

jungkook grinned back. "not bad, huh? i'll take that."

as the night went on, they talked more, this time about flowers, about life, and jungkook made sure to steer clear of anything too heavy. they got a bit tipsy, the alcohol loosening jimin up just enough to enjoy himself without overthinking too much. he found himself leaning into jungkook's charm, his easy smile, his calm demeanor.

but jungkook never crossed the line again. no touch, no pressure. just them, sharing a meal, getting to know each other.

and as jimin looked at him, he couldn't help but notice how beautiful jungkook really was. his strong features, the way his eyes softened when he smiled.

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊