CIGARETTES AND TULIPS // jikook

28 - no way

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the flower shop was calm today, filled only with the quiet rustle of flowers being arranged and the soft music in the background. jimin breathed in the gentle scent of lilies and roses, feeling a little more grounded here than he had in a while. there was something about the familiarity of this place, its pastel walls and shelves lined with potted plants, that felt like a comfort blanket as always.

it had always been jimin's safe place, ever since he was a little boy. so it felt really nice to be there right now.

on the counter, taehyung sat perched like a lazy bear, legs swinging and an iced coffee in hand. he had barely lifted a finger to help all morning, but that was just taehyung's style. always more of a decorative presence than an actual worker, charming enough to get away with it.

"you're unusually quiet," taehyung remarked, his voice low but teasing as he watched jimin rearrange a bouquet for the third time. "c'mon, spill it."

jimin looked down, the petals in his hands blurring as the memory of yesterday came back. "jungkook... he punched dean."

taehyung's eyes widened, and his coffee cup came down onto the counter with a clatter. "no way. jungkook punched dean? like, full-on, in the face?"

jimin gave a small nod, letting out a soft laugh. "it was... surreal. one second, i was just standing there, frozen, and then suddenly, jungkook's in front of me, telling me to look away. then bam." he mimed a punch with his hand, feeling the absurdity of it settle in. 

"i gotta say, that's iconic behavior. honestly, i'm kinda proud of him," taehyung said, a wide grin spreading across his face. "someone had to do it. i already kind of thought jungkook would be the one to step up and play hero. he was really angry that night"

that night...

jimin managed a laugh, but there was something heavier underneath. "it's strange... like, i know i should feel relieved or even happy that dean got what he deserved, but it's not that simple. he was still someone i... cared about, once. we have this weird bond. i don't know if you understand"

taehyung's expression softened, his usual playfulness dimming just a little. 

"i get that," he murmured. "but that's the thing, right? abusers don't see it the way you do. they're caught up in their own justifications."

"you're right, but i still deep down crave his understanding, i don't know," jimin said and looked outside on the street. "like, i want him to know how i felt and what happened. i want him to understand it"

taehyung nodded. "yeah, because you're you. and you don't want to treat people unfairly. but honestly, maybe he'll never understand 100% and that's what you gotta accept. he did these things and maybe his brain will never fully meet you again. that's probably why you feel weird about it"

jimin nodded, feeling a small weight lift from knowing taehyung understood. he had worried so much about not being understood by him, but hearing him say it made everything more okay.

"yeah," he sighed. it felt good to talk about everything in such a vulnerable way.  "i guess there is a distance between dean and i that i feel like i need to close again."

"but that's not your duty, do you get that?", taehyung said and looked at him after taking a sip of his coffee through his straw, "you are not responsible for how he feels and even if it was more comfortable if he understood the situation, what will that do for you? would you want to get back with him again? do you still have feelings for him?"