CIGARETTES AND TULIPS // jikook

22 - just don't

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jungkook had been waiting outside the flower shop for over an hour, his mind racing with questions that made his stomach twist. he watched the entrance anxiously, feeling every second drag as he rehearsed what he wanted to say to jimin. he couldn't stand the silence any longer—the way jimin had been avoiding him, the coldness that seeped into their interactions. something had shifted between them, and jungkook didn't understand why.

when he finally saw jimin walking down the street, his heart clenched. jimin looked different—his shoulders hunched, his eyes downcast, steps small and uncertain. something about him seemed more fragile than ever, as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his back. jungkook's chest tightened.

he couldn't take it anymore. he stepped out from where he'd been leaning against the wall and quickly approached jimin.

"jimin," jungkook's voice was soft but urgent. jimin startled slightly, his eyes widening before quickly darting away, refusing to meet jungkook's gaze. jungkook could see the tension in his face, the way his mouth pressed into a thin line, his fingers twitching nervously by his sides.

"hey, can we talk? please," jungkook began, his voice cracking slightly at the end. "have i done something wrong? i feel horrible, jimin. you've been ignoring me for days. i don't understand what happened."

jimin stood there, frozen, his shoulders tightening at jungkook's words. his eyes flickered toward the ground, lips trembling slightly as he tried to come up with something to say, something that wouldn't break the both of them apart.

"no, you haven't done anything," jimin whispered, his voice so low jungkook had to lean in to hear him. "i'm just... i've been busy, that's all."

jungkook's brows furrowed, frustration simmering beneath his skin. "busy?" he echoed. "jimin, we've barely talked. you're avoiding me. don't lie to me, i hate that."

jimin's throat tightened, panic rising in his chest. his eyes flicked around, looking anywhere but at jungkook, trying to keep himself together. "i told you, it's nothing," he lied, his voice shaky, betraying him. "please, just... let it go."

"let it go?" jungkook repeated, hurt creeping into his tone. "how am i supposed to let it go when you've shut me out completely? what changed, jimin? did i do something to upset you? i need to know because i can't stand this."

the desperation in jungkook's voice cut through jimin like a knife. he wanted to tell him the truth, to say everything that had been suffocating him, but the words wouldn't come out. instead, he bit his lip, shaking his head weakly, his heart pounding in his chest.

"jungkook, it's not you," jimin mumbled, barely audible. "it's... it's me."

"it's you?" jungkook repeated, his voice rising slightly in disbelief. "what are you even talking about, jimin? you—"

jungkook stopped mid-sentence, his eyes catching something out of the corner of his eye. jimin's phone, which he had been gripping tightly in his hand, lit up with a name on the screen: 

dean.

jungkook felt his stomach drop. 

dean? who the hell was dean?

"who's that?" jungkook asked, his voice low, tense. 

jimin's body went rigid, his grip on his phone tightening as he quickly tried to shove it into his pocket, but it was too late. jungkook had already seen the name.

"who's dean?" jungkook repeated, stepping closer, his voice cracking. "do you... do you have someone else?"

jimin's heart sank. his throat went dry, and he felt his chest tightening painfully as he stammered out a response, his mind scrambling for something, anything to say.

"w-what do you mean? why would you i even tell you?" jimin stuttered, his voice shaky. "you and me are not even dating, jungkook."

the words left his mouth before he could stop them, and as soon as they were out, he regretted them. 

he watched in horror as the expression on jungkook's face shifted—his eyes widening in disbelief, his lips parting slightly as if the air had been sucked out of his lungs. jungkook looked at him as if he had just been punched in the gut, like the ground had crumbled beneath him.

"what the fuck," jungkook breathed out, his voice hollow, barely a whisper. he stared at jimin, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he tried to process what had just been said. the raw hurt in his eyes was undeniable, and jimin saw it—the moment jungkook's heart shattered right in front of him.

jungkook's eyes, usually so bright and full of life, seemed to dull, his expression twisting into one of pain and confusion. he stepped back, his hands trembling as he ran them through his hair, pulling at it in frustration as if trying to ground himself.

"what the fuck," jungkook repeated, louder this time, his voice shaking. he looked at jimin like he was searching for something, anything to hold onto, but all he found was emptiness. jimin couldn't bring himself to look at him, his own guilt suffocating him.

jungkook took another step back, shaking his head slowly, his chest heaving as he tried to make sense of it all. "you're not even dating me?" he asked, his voice breaking, his finger pointing at his own chest.

jimin felt his heart squeeze painfully in his chest. he wanted to say something, to explain, but the words stuck in his throat like thorns. he couldn't say it. he couldn't admit that it wasn't jungkook—it was him. it was his own brokenness, his own inability to let jungkook in, to let anyone in.

"jungkook, i..." jimin started, but his voice cracked, and he couldn't finish. he felt the weight of jungkook's gaze on him, burning through him like fire, and it hurt. it hurt so much.

jungkook let out a sharp breath, his hands trembling as he clenched them into fists by his sides.

 "so... that's it, huh? you have someone else now?" he asked, his voice tight, filled with pain. "is that why you've been avoiding me? because you've found someone new?"

jimin bit his lip, his whole body trembling as he shook his head. "jungkook, it's—"

"what is it, jimin?" jungkook snapped, his voice rising, desperation seeping into every word. "because right now, it feels like you've just been stringing me along, and i... i can't believe i was stupid enough to fall for it."

jimin felt like the ground was collapsing beneath him. he could barely breathe, the weight of his own lies crushing him. he had wanted to protect jungkook, to keep him safe from the mess that was his life, but now, all he had done was hurt him. deeply.

he watched in agony as jungkook's shoulders slumped, the light in his eyes dimming as he stared at jimin, defeated. he looked so small, so vulnerable, and jimin could barely stand it.

"jungkook, i—" jimin tried again, but the words wouldn't come.

"no, jimin, don't," jungkook whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "just don't."

there was a long, painful silence, the tension between them suffocating. jungkook took one last, shaky breath before turning away, his hands still tangled in his hair, his body trembling.and jimin just stood there, watching him go, his chest aching with the weight of everything he couldn't say.

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