41. Do You See Me in Her

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"Sorry to lose you, Tobin," Deanna says, looking at the construction crew leader with sympathy

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"Sorry to lose you, Tobin," Deanna says, looking at the construction crew leader with sympathy. Maggie is sitting next to me, and both of us are keeping quiet and observing.

"Are you sure about this?" her husband asks him.

"Absolutely." He sighs. "If Abraham had followed my orders, she'd be dead."

"Well, saving someone's life makes them a hero, but it doesn't qualify them to run a construction crew."

Tobin addresses her husband sternly. "Well, they're still out there, still working the whole team, and he's leading them. Better than I ever could."

Deanna looks between Maggie and me before smacking her knee. "I guess it's settled, then. I'll speak to Abraham when he's back and make it official."

Tobin nods. "Thank you, Deanna. The thing is, I know you won't regret it."

"He's right, you know," Maggie begins after her husband and Tobin walk out. "Abraham's more than qualified."

Deanna chuckles. "I put another one of your people in power, you vouch for them. It's starting to become a pattern."

"If it's any consultation, I don't exactly like the man but I know he'd risk anything for his crew," I chime in, sipping my tea. "Actually, I detest him but that's a personality clash thing."

Maggie stands up. "I'll get back to work on those field plans."

"I'll meet you downstairs," Deanna replies, holding up her hand when I go to join Maggie. When we're alone, she continues. "I have a question to ask you, Lilly."

Dread fills my stomach. "Go ahead."

"Maggie seems to believe the best in people and keeps moving forward despite everything with hope. You do not. You survive."

"That's not a question, Deanna."

"I'm not finished. Do you see a hope for this place?"

I sigh with a long exhale. "You need survivors for things to thrive. I hate to say that the people you have now aren't exactly founding father material. Our group has survived so far because of our faith in leaders and each other."

"I agree with you. Do you think Maggie is someone that your group could put faith in?" she asks me seriously. I don't like this line of questioning.

"Maybe in time. Her father helped me into the path that I am today. Maybe you could be that for her, too."

Deanna sits, pondering. "I see. Let's join Maggie on the field plans."

***

I'm rocking Cash when Carol marches in, pacing my living room. "Pete is abusive. Jessie's husband."

"I had a feeling," I tell her, setting a sleeping cash into the pack-and-play. "Rick is ready to knock his teeth in already. If he finds out, there'll be anarchy."

"I feel helpless."

"Isn't that what you're going for?" I ask her, going into the kitchen.

"That isn't what I meant and you know it. Can't you have some pull with Deanna? Someone abusive to their wife could turn on all of us. I know it firsthand."

I sigh. "I can try. She's a bit sensitive right now about any judgment against her members. Her son is a prick that has abuser written all over him. How's the weapons going?"

"Weapons? What weapons?" She pretends to be dumb about the topic.

"Daryl already told me. How is it going?"

"Alright. Jessie's son caught me but I'm working on it...with cookies."

Rick walks in, expecting me but surprised to see Carol. "I need to speak with you."

"Pete is hitting Jessie."

"Carol," I snap at her.

Rick stills, looking between the two of us. "Did Sam tell you this?"

"He didn't have to."

He looks to me. "Do you think so?"

I look away. "Rick-"

"Look me in the eye and tell me that Jessie isn't being abused."

I stare at him. "She probably is, Rick."

"I know how this is going to go with Pete. There is only one way it can go," Carol starts. Rick looks between the two of us, his mind made up already.

"We can't kill someone here, Rick. They want civilization. They want a judge and jury, not just an executioner."

"I have to do this, Lilly."

"Do you?" I ask him. "Or is your crush clouding your judgment?"

He shakes his head. "Don't even go there."

"You know, she looks like me."

"Lilly." He practically pleads with me to stop talking.

"The thing is, Rick, she's taken too."

He storms out, leaving Carol shocked and myself upset.

"Rick and you-"

"There's no Rick and me. There is Rick and whatever infatuation he had for me."

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