someone to stay, ⁹¹¹

𝟎𝟐𝟔.

JJ stared at the bottle of pills in her hand for a moment. What did she have to live for anymore? It sounded stupid—because she had a lot of people to live for—but what did she have to live for? Every day felt heavier than the last, and the pills helped. They made things quieter, easier. They kept her from drowning.

She exhaled shakily, her fingers tightening around the bottle just as the door swung open.

"JJ—"

Sophia's voice cut off. JJ's head snapped up, and in an instant, she saw it—the way Sophia's eyes locked onto the bottle, the way her expression morphed from confusion to realization to pure, unfiltered rage.

"What the hell is that?" Sophia demanded, stepping forward.

JJ's stomach twisted. "Soph—"

"Are you kidding me?" Sophia's voice was sharp, louder now. "Are you serious right now?"

JJ scrambled to shove the bottle into her pocket, but it was too late. Sophia had already seen everything.

"You're taking pills?" Sophia practically shouted. "How long has this been going on? What even are they?"

"It's nothing—" JJ started, but Sophia let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head.

"Nothing? Nothing? Are you actually trying to gaslight me right now?"

JJ felt tears burn behind her eyes. "I'm coping, okay? I'm fine. I swear."

Sophia scoffed. "You're fine? You're coping? JJ, look at yourself!" Her voice cracked. "This isn't you. You don't do this."

JJ wiped at her eyes, her hands trembling. "I just—I needed something to help. Everything's too much, and this makes it easier. Please just... don't freak out."

"Don't freak out?" Sophia's voice was thick with emotion, her hands shaking at her sides. "JJ, I have to tell Buck and Eddie."

Panic shot through JJ like ice. She surged forward, grabbing Sophia's hands, her own tears finally spilling over. "No. Please, don't."

Sophia yanked her hands away. "JJ—"

"Christmas is next week," JJ sobbed. "Please don't ruin Christmas. Just—just wait. Let me get through it."

Sophia hesitated, her face twisting in pain. JJ could see the war happening inside her, could see how badly she wanted to fight her on this.

Finally, after what felt like forever, Sophia exhaled, her jaw tight. "Fine," she said, voice strained. "But if you don't tell them after Christmas, I will."

Sophia stared at her for a long moment, her eyes still burning with anger and something else—fear. JJ could feel it radiating off of her, could see it in the way her best friend's hands curled into fists at her sides like she was trying to hold herself together.

"Swear to me," Sophia demanded. "Swear that after Christmas, you'll tell them."

JJ opened her mouth, but the words stuck in her throat. She couldn't promise that. She couldn't even imagine saying the words to her Dad and Eddie. The disappointment she'd see in their eyes, the way they'd hover, treat her like she was fragile, like she was some broken thing that needed fixing—she couldn't do it.

But Sophia's gaze was unwavering, and if JJ didn't say something, she knew she'd lose her.

"I swear," JJ whispered, the lie tasting bitter on her tongue.

Sophia exhaled sharply, rubbing her hands over her face. "Jesus, JJ." Her voice cracked, and that was somehow worse than the yelling. "I don't even know what to say to you right now."