me to me | morgan wallen

guilt

Rolling out of bed, Kat found herself with a new feeling every morning: guilt. The kiss with Morgan had become like a song on repeat but with guilt, joy, and confusion associated with it. Max had become like a stranger rather than a rock in her life. And as much as she contemplated talking to him and confess the truth, the fear of hurting him was holding her back.

After a few moments of contemplation, Kat made her way to the kitchen to brew herself some coffee. Her heart sank from the little white lie she told Max last night before going out. Pouring herself a cup of coffee, Kat blankly stared out the window at the life outside.

Her phone buzzed jolting her from her thoughts and bringing her back to reality.

Hailey: Update please?

Amara: hellloooo

Kat quickly typed a response for her friends summarizing a recap of the events of last night.

Kat: it was magical

She loved her friends but she was still terrified of their responses. Kissing another guy again when being in a long-term relationship was just unacceptable.

And it was just then, Kat heard the front door close, which meant Max was home. "Morning sleepyhead. I was wondering if you would be awake" Max greeted her as he kissed her cheek.

"Morning, just needed my beauty sleep" she nonchalantly responded as a storm of emotions brewed inside of her.

Max walked towards her making Kat unintentionally scoot away a little as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "You seem off. Everything ok?" he asked leaning on the counter with curiosity.

Kat felt a lump in her throat. I'm exploring my options. I don't know if you're the one. What was she saying? "Yeah I'm fine. Just a lot on my mind" she croaked out a lie.

Max nodded as he checked his phone. "I have to work a little. Maybe let's do something after".

"Sure. We can have movie night" Kat suggested trying to sound enthusiastic.

As he walked away, she could feel herself dreading the night. Typically she found herself sitting alone while he worked during movie night but it had been awhile since they had movie night... let alone any planned night. Did he know? She had brushed aside telling the truth but mere thought of having to tell him made her stomach churn.

Kat: meet at the park?

Amara: yeah give me a few

Kat went to the closet and put on some leggings and an oversized shirt. The weight of everything was on her shoulders.

At the park, Kat was met with laughter and gossip per usual. She could always count on her friends to lift the weight off her shoulders.

"Ok spill. You look like you've seen a ghost" Hailey said, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

Kat hesitated as she looked around the park, surely she didn't want anyone to hear. "I went to Dolores last night where Morgan was singing. Then we went to the farm, turns out his mom is friends with the owner so he has a visitor pass. And then... I told him".

"Told him what?" Amara asked leaning in as she kept her voice low.

"About Max... that I'm cheating" she replied as she nearly threw up from her own words.

"And?" Hailey nudged for more.

"He reassured me and said I deserve to be happy and should explore. That it happens so I should figure out. And then he dropped me off and I went with my gut and... kissed him" Kat confessed as she walked around the park with her friends.

"That was one hell of a show last night... but how do you feel?" Amara said. "This is huge".

"Not for my relationship it isn't. I'm just trying my best. And Max wanted to do a movie night tonight. I can't hurt him" Kat countered.

"Doesn't matter if you hurt him. You need to be honest with him and yourself. You can't keep this secret forever. I love you but you clearly are not in it with Max anymore" Hailey said keeping her tone serious.

As they walked around the park, Kat felt a flicker of hope. Maybe she could figure this out. Maybe she could find the courage to talk about her feelings to both of them. In her ideal world, no one would be hurt.