me to me | morgan wallen

a brief moment of fun

Shutting her apartment door behind her,  Kat took a moment to process the events of this morning. The second she stepped out of Morgan's house, reality hit her in the face as she disassociated while driving home. She had spent the night with Morgan. She had crossed another line with Morgan. And now, she was left to deal with a mess that couldn't have been undone.

Max.

Her stomach churned at the thought of his state — alone, betrayed, and heartbroken. The memory of their fight replayed in her head as she walked towards the couch. The heartbroken eyes and the pain that flashed through his face as he connected the dots of her outings from the last few days.

It was time for her to talk to the girls.

Kat: come over guys

Amara: give us 10

After pacing around, the girls had stormed into the apartment with seltzers in hand. True friend style. Hailey noticed the worrisome look written all over Kat's face, "You look like you've seen a ghost".

Kat cracked open a seltzer as she delved into the details of what had happened in the last few hours, but it seemed like weeks for her. Amara and Hailey's jaws dropped by the end of it.

"So you fucked a country star? Who is so hot? This is a win" Amara exclaimed.

Kat buried her face in her hands from shame as Hailey piped in. "Kat... don't feel ashamed. It happened. But you couldn't keep lying to both of them. It's a big deal to cheat".

"You're right" Kat said. "I'll have to talk to Max again".

"Babe... he's mad and heartbroken. Talking to him won't do anything" Amara shook her head.

Kat's phone buzzed breaking the conversation as all three of them looked at the screen. Max.

Max: we need to talk

Kat's heart dropped. She had been dreading this inevitable moment. "I'm going to be okay" Kat told her friends, "I'll keep you updated".

She needed to face him again and just accept her consequences.

Kat: I'm home come over

Her stomach twisted as she sent the message and watched her friends file out the door. Within an hour, Max was walking through the door with a guarded expression on his face.

Kat had a seltzer in her hand for emotional support as her palms grew sweaty. He didn't say much as he walked towards the living room and just sat on the couch. Kat peered the corner unsure of how to approach, "So you're back".

Max got up from the couch and faced her, "Yeah we need to figure this out. I've had time to think. Do you still want this?" he said with his arms crossed, taking her by surprise.

Kat's heart pounded in her chest. Did she still want to be with Max? She knew the answer. "Max... I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you" Kat finally said.

"I know you didn't want to," Max croaked. His eyes looked bloodshot as his face stayed stone cold. "But you did. You hurt me in ways I don't know how to come back from. I need to know if you still want this... me... us. If you still want to be with me".

Kat felt her eyes well up with tears. She didn't know what to say. She loved Max... but that love was know a tangled and complicated mess. Loved. Guess that's the past tense.

"I want to be honest with you. I don't know if I can go back to how things were. So much has happened, and I'm not the same person that I was" Kat explained.

"I figured" Max said as his voice dropped low. His eyes remained crossed but fidgeted as he analyzed Kat. "But if you don't know where you stand Kat... then what are we doing here?".

Kat felt water trickle down her face, wiping it was she tried to answer him. "I don't want to hurt you. You're my best friend, and I never wanted this to imagine. Max, I care about you".

The memories flooded back. Their first date where they watched the stars at the lake together. Their first kiss when she said the third date was the charm. When he showed up with sunflowers after she had a bad day at work. Everything was coming back like a hurricane.

"But it did hurt me," Max said with his voice bubbling in frustration. "It did, you've avoided it for days. And look where we are".

His words cut like knives but she knew he was right. She had been the one allowing things to spiral. If she never went out that night they would have never been in this position to begin with. She had made decisions that had consequences. She was the one who cheated. She was the problem.

"I didn't mean for it to happen" Kat let out as a whisper.

Max ran his hand through his hair as he began to pace around the living room. The whole world went silent and froze in time when he stopped in his tracks with a stone cold face. "Do you love him?" Max asked her bluntly.

"What?" Kat croaked bewildered.

"Do you love him? The guy you've been hanging out with" he repeated slowly as he looked at her.

Kat was left at a loss for words. She had just met Morgan. Did she love him? She wasn't quite sure. It was too soon. She had fallen for him in a way that she never knew she could fall for anyone.

Max's face softened in defeat, his eyes filled with pain. "I'll get my things. I got the answer I needed".

Kat reached out with her hand instinctively before forming it into a fish and retreating, "Max... wait" her voice cracked.

Max shook his head as he began to gather his things quickly. The eerie silence dissipated through the room for a few minutes as she sat still, frozen in time.

"Max-"

He shook his head as he reached for his keys on the key holder. "No Kat. You hesitated".

She wanted to scream and beg for him to stay but her mouth couldn't produce the words she was looking for. She was on the edge of losing it.

"Max" she caught his attention as he turned towards the door. "I don't love him. It's just complicated" she whispered as she made eye contact with him.

Max turned to her with a chuckle in his voice, "Complicated? That's funny. Good luck".

And just like that, he was gone. The door shut behind him swiftly as the apartment filled with cold air. She had lost him. The one person who was always there for her, is gone. For what? A brief moment of fun?

Her phone buzzed intruding on her thoughts as she saw Morgan's name pop up. The butterflies and excitement that she typically got was gone. She felt hollow. Rather than responding, Kat made her way to the bedroom and collapsed in tears.