Hers Freely

58. The Wolf's den

The echo of Jonah's feral roar reverberated in my ears, a haunting melody that made each step feel heavier returning back to the healer's cabin, not knowing what to do next. My heart was in ruin for him as I struggled to comprehend the torment that had turned him into something unrecognizable. I clenched my fists, trying to fight off the wave of emotions welling up in my chest. I thought back to how we had first met, shackled and hopeless behind those rusted bars. My heart ached even more. Even though I opened that cell, taking a chance on him that awful day, he'd saved me from death countless times over. I owe him. I owe him more than I could ever repay.

                                                                         ***

As I had settled into the confines of the healers cabin these past few days, the scent of herbs and warmth mingled around me. I hadn't expected to find myself here, delving into memories both cherished and tainted. Just before I let my emotions spill into tears yet again today, the door creaked and I looked up from my hands.

"How are you, Ella?" Amira stood in the doorway of my room, her silhouette framed by the dwindling glow outside, pulling me away from my thoughts. "Can I come in?" I wanna talk? My brows furrowed with concern as I recalled the sting of Amira's betrayal, a wound that still felt fresh despite the months that had passed to forget. My trust in her had been shattered, leaving an unspoken tension in the air. I had considered her a friend or more like an older sister at one point. A part of me wanted to shut her out, keep my fortress of resentment up so she couldn't hurt me again. But another part of me demanded some answers and maybe even closure. I was at odds end with thinking she intentionally played me as a fool with the cold reality of her actions. With a deep low rasp, I managed to utter "What do you want?" 

Amira's eyes softened, a flicker of remorse passing through them as she hesitated in the doorway. Her shoulders slumped slightly, and she took a tentative step forward, her voice a sorrowful whisper. "I owe you an explanation, Ella," she said, her gaze meeting mine with an earnest intensity that made my heart clench.

I nodded, allowing her in, hoping that this conversation might bring some clarity to the mess of feelings I was dealing with.

Outside, the sun was setting, sending its warm glow into the room through the window. Little specks of dust were floating in the air, catching the light as they moved around between us. It reminded me of how I used to feel carefree when we hung out laughing and training. But now, it feels awkward in her presence.

"Believe me, Ella," she began, her voice sounding a bit tight. "I really didn't want you to learn about it the way you did."

"Learn what?" I pressed. I knew what she was talking about but I wanted her to say it out loud. To say she pretended to befriend me— manipulate my trust as a mere pawn in a game all the while she was fooling around with Jonah. It's not like I cared about what Jonah and she were doing behind closed doors; they could do whatever they wanted, really. For crying out loud they were wolves and Jonah wasn't mine.  Thinking back I had also pushed him away. But their betrayal of friendship hurt my pride the most.

"You deceived me, Amira. You let me believe you were on my side." I finally spat, my anger and hurt spilling over.

Amira swallowed hard, her discomfort evident. "I saw you both that night in the training cabin." I continued, pinning her with a cold, hard stare.

"Jonah told me after you left," Amira replied. "There was nothing ever between me and Jonah. I'm sure he explained our arrangement." I fold my arms frustrated with this conversation. " I don't care." I shot back, like everyone else she had taken advantage of my vulnerabilities.

"Jonah really needed someone," she went on speaking in quick bursts, fighting to keep her voice steady. "He was in a bad way when Kyra rejected him. You don't understand how that destroys us. Our mates are everything to us and to have her choose another over him.....I- I just wanted to help him through it. He had been there for me when no one else was. I fostered his emotions to stop him from falling apart. It wasn't about you, Ella, I promise."