One More Time ( Becky x Freen )

Chapter 15

/FLASHBACK/

"... do you want to have sex with me?"

Silence.

Freen was speechless. Becky never asked her that kind of question. But when Becky did, it was like asking her to run away with her to another country.

Did she really have to ask that question? Freen thought.

Of course she wanted to, wasn't it obvious? Every time they had a kissing session, the only furthest thing they did was when she had Becky's hands squeezing her breasts or hers on Becky's. But when she tried to go further like reaching Becky's pants or just when she wanted to get between Becky's legs, Becky suddenly stopped.

At first, Freen thought she had crossed the line, but Becky just said she wasn't ready and Freen respected Becky's decision. But when it was the fourth and fifth time that Becky kept using the same reason, Freen suspected that Becky had another reason, like she was hiding something from her.

Freen thought maybe it was something from her past, something she still didn't want to talk about. And yet, Freen respected her wish. Her relationship with Becky wasn't based solely on sexual relationships, it was more than that. They had been friends for a year without kissing each other, except for cheek or forehead kisses, but they still had the friendship going. And now that they had been more than friends, they didn't really need sex to survive the relationship, right?

But after several times of feeling sexually frustrated, Freen stopped asking for more. Every time they kissed, Becky abruptly stopped and said she wasn't in the mood. And Becky realized that, but she was still struggling with herself. She hated herself for "what she had," so how could she expect Freen to love that part of her?

They had been girlfriends for almost six months, and sometimes she felt guilty for hiding that part of her from Freen. She didn't want to hide or lie to Freen, but if she couldn't accept that part of herself, how could she want Freen to accept her?

But, she was tired of hiding, she was tired of lying. She was tired of keeping the secret to herself. If she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Freen, she had to learn to accept, love, and be who she was. And now she's ready.

"Babe?" she called again. Freen just hummed and looked at her with no expression on her face. " I asked you a question, do you want to, uh, have sex with me?" she repeated.

God, did I really need to do that? Becky thought as Freen struggled to answer the question.

"Uhm.. I.. I.. think?" Freen stuttered, still not able to
believe Becky could ask her the question as if it was a
homework question.

"You think? You don't want to?" Becky said, looking disappointed.

"Mai! I mean, cai, of course, I want to. You... don't want to..?" she asked.

"I've been wanting to have sex with you for a long time, babe! God, you're always driving me crazy, I thought I might die thinking about being with you, but... I just... I need to tell you something about myself first na?"

"Becky..." Freen sighed. "You don't have to, you know? If you're not ready yet, I don't mind, I can wait. It's not like we're running out of time, right?" She laughed even though she knew it wasn't really a joke.

"Mai, mai... I mean... it's time you heard from me, I love you too much for... and it's unfair for you to not hear this from me after all this time we've been together. I think it's time."