I've Loved You Before

Chapter 9 - Under the Water

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Under the water we can't breathe, we can't breathe

Under the water we die

Under the water there is no one watching

Under the water we are alone

Then why do we jump in?

Why do we jump in?

Under the water we die

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When Marlena entered Roman's office at the police station, he completely ignored her. He continued to dig through a file as he stood in front of the filing cabinet. In Marlena's mind that didn't bode well for the direction of the conversation. He'd been avoiding her since the day before, and he had already left a message at her office that he would be working late. Deciding that they needed to discuss what had transpired between her and Roger in his studio, Marlena went to see Roman at work. "Roman," she said quietly. "I need to talk to you."

"It needs to wait, Doc. I've got a full agenda today." He didn't even spare her a glance. He walked towards his desk assuming that would be the end of the conversation.

Marlena closed the door gently behind her, "No. It can't. We have to talk about what you saw in the surveillance footage."

Roman sighed heavily. This was the last thing he wanted to do. "Sit down. Pull up a seat." He gestured behind him, and continued to read through his file.

Marlena felt small and insignificant. He wouldn't even spare her a glance. He was completely disregarding her, and she knew why. He was hurt - both his feelings and his pride - but it was no excuse to treat her the way he was. "I wanted to speak with you about it this morning," she said, sitting down beside him. "But you left so early I couldn't."

She watched, and waited for him to respond. She wanted so badly to have this conversation, but he typed on the computer, and acted as if she weren't there.

"Roman?" she asked, trying to get his attention.

"It's still morning, Doc." Realizing that he'd been rude he sighed again, "It's just this Stella Lombard case."

"I won't delay you long." Her voice was soft, and held a longing that surprised her. She wanted so badly for them to somehow recapture what they'd had before he'd left Salem, but she wasn't sure that was possible. They'd been through too much. They'd experienced things they would each never understand. "I just wanted to explain what happened with Roger, and what you think you saw."

"Think I saw?" Roman asked loudly. If Marlena was going to force a discussion, she was going to have to be willing to take his anger too. "Oh, I know what I saw, Doc. Abe saw it. Taylor McCall saw it."

"It's not as bad as it looked. It's a simple case of transference. You know what that is. It's when–when a patient attaches to the therapist, and thinks of those feelings as romantic." Even as she rushed to get her words out, she saw the hard stare that Roman was giving her. "I don't blame Roger. I blame myself."

"Well, you should blame yourself!" he yelled.

Marlena sat back slightly, and stared at him in surprise.

"Look, Doc, anybody with half a brain could see the guys got a crush on you! Why couldn't you?"

"I–I... I don't know. I just didn't see that," she said softly. She hadn't seen it, and maybe that was the most surprising part, because she liked to believe that she could normally read the situation better than she had.