I've Loved You Before

Chapter 12 - The Only Promise That Remains

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When the ground beneath you you starts a-shaking, shaking

And you forget the place we came from, came from

When you're lost and looking for a way home, your way home to me

I'll come out and find you

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Boxes were everywhere - Brady's room, the kitchen, the living room. John scanned around the large room feeling slightly overwhelmed. It was an open concept. The main living area easily transitioned into the kitchen. The island in the kitchen was stacked with boxes labeled "pots and pans" and "kitchen miscellaneous". He had Hailey to thank for the organization. If he had been left to his own devices it would have been much more chaotic. Hailey stood off to the side with Brady tucked in her arms. She stood in a shaft of the late morning light, and it lit her hair up with sparks of strawberry blonde and deep auburn. John shook his head slightly to clear his distraction. He had been distracted a lot lately. Glancing back over at Hailey he found her intense blue gaze on him.

Realizing she'd been caught staring, she started to blush. "I was going to put Brady down for a nap, and then start unpacking the nursery," she said quickly. She could feel the heat rising up the column of her neck.

John couldn't deny Hailey was beautiful. He looked away. His emotions were so mixed up that he knew he wasn't thinking straight. He'd been having dreams about Hailey, and then he would wake up and sob himself back to sleep. The guilt was overwhelming, and the loneliness was intense. He glanced away from her, "That sounds like a great idea. Thank you. I'm going to tackle this kitchen. It seems like the best place to start."

Brady laid his head on Hailey's shoulder, yawning widely. John crossed the space between them, and then brushed his fingers across his son's soft cheek. Hailey could almost imagine those fingers touching her. When John looked at her she almost melted on the spot. Her lips parted, and she silently exhaled. John stepped back quickly, seemingly caught off guard. Clearing her throat she said awkwardly, "I'm going to get started."

John watched her walk away, and he released his own held breath. He was lonely. He was incredibly lonely, but the thought of moving on after Isabella was impossible to think about. She'd barely been gone for two months. Eight weeks without her, and he was still pushing those deep emotions to the side. Marlena was right. He had to give into the grief, to feel it, but he wasn't ready. Not yet.

With a heavy sigh, he rolled his shoulders trying to loosen the tension that seemed to reside there permanently. John rubbed his hands over his face, and then looked around the room, mumbling, "Get to it, John Black. This house isn't going to organize itself."

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When the world around you starts a-moving, moving

And you should wonder if I still love you, love you

If you feel a darkness coming, rising inside

I'll make the light to guide you back home

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John had been working steadily for more than thirty minutes when he startled to the sound of the doorbell. He had no idea who would be there on a Friday afternoon. He'd mentioned the move to Shawn the other day at the Pub, but that was just in passing. Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was only slightly past lunch, and as if to remind him, his stomach grumbled loudly.