I've Loved You Before

Chapter 26 - I Know You Won't

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I know you don't mean to be mean to me

'Cause when you want to you can make me feel like we belong

We belong

Lately, you make me feel all I am is a backup plan

I say I'm done, and then you smile at me and I'll forget

Everything I said

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The Brady Pub was busy for a Tuesday afternoon. John sat across from Victor while picking at his food. He should have ordered chowder. The burger and fries sitting in front of him seemed unappealing. He noticed Victor staring at his hand, and he said with little emotion, "I haven't been able to take it off yet."

"John, Isabella has been gone for three months. Don't you think it's time to move on?" Victor asked him.

John stared down at the wedding ring he still wore, "Three months... Victor, you act as if that's a lifetime. She died in October. I think I'm allowed to mourn."

"I'm not saying you aren't," Victor said gently. "I'm simply saying that it's acceptable to put yourself out there again. Continuing to wear your wedding ring will stop women from expressing their interest."

"Not all women," John muttered.

Victor's eyebrows raised in curiosity, "Oh? Someone has expressed some interest?"

"They weren't exactly shy about it. They even went so far as to accost Doc and ask for tips on how to snag me." John glanced at his ring again. Was Victor right? Was it time to take it off? Turning it around his finger, he said, "I've considered taking it off. I just... I haven't felt that the time is right, you know?"

Victor was curious. "So, who is this mystery woman who's trying to get information about you?"

"Rebecca Morrison," John replied flatly. "She claims I made a bet with her when I worked at the precinct, although I don't remember that. Said I owed her dinner. I took her out for New Years as friends. What I do remember from working with her were the arguments we used to have."

"John, some of the most passionate romances are born of a difference of opinion. Roman and Marlena used to have some furious fights," Victor laughed. He watched as John's facial expression changed for a fleeting instant. He wasn't sure if it was because John possessed Roman's memories, or if John was remembering his own arguments with Marlena. Slowly he said, "But then, I seem to remember you and Marlena having some explosive fights yourselves."

The first thing that came to mind were their disagreements when he first started as the head of security at the hospital, back before he was Roman Brady. Marlena's fierce independence was one of the things that had attracted him. He wanted nothing more than to protect her, and she wanted to feel like her patients had some semblance of anonymity. Sometimes it was foolish, but he admired her for it. Marlena's intelligence and strength had pulled him towards her like gravity.

"As a matter of fact, I was at Blondie's that day you tracked her down with that hospital sign-out sheet," Victor laughed. "I've never seen Marlena so flummoxed. It was quite entertaining."

John couldn't help but smile as he recalled tossing the clipboard onto the table in front of her that day. It had all worked out in the end, and ultimately Marlena had become his friend. She was his best friend, and then he fell in love with her. At the time it had felt like an impossible love, because he had growing evidence that he might be Stefano DiMera. It was hard living as an amnesiac. He couldn't reconcile his love for her with the pain he might have been responsible for.