I've Loved You Before

Chapter 25 - Everleave

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I make your coffee, pack your lunch

I've never heard, "Good morning, beautiful"

I always thought I asked too much

Is my fairytale idea of love delusional

And you've got no idea I'm drowning

Mind is racing, heart is pounding

Is today the day I walk away?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

John handed Marlena a cup of perfectly made coffee, and she smiled up at him. She'd had a couple cancellations in her schedule which left her an hour free before and after lunch. She had considered calling Roman to see if he was free, but the thought of being brushed off or disappointed again didn't sit right with her. She knew John was home for the day wallpapering Brady's room, so she decided to take a chance and stop by. She'd told herself it was under the guise of talking about Carrie, but as she stared up into John's smiling blue eyes, she knew it was really because he brought a peacefulness to her soul that she was having difficulty finding elsewhere. "Thank you," she said softly, wrapping her fingers around the warm mug.

"I'm guessing you came over to discuss what we're going to do about Carrie?" he asked her, sitting down next to her on the sofa.

"Well, yes, now that we know it was Billie–"

" – So, what do you want to do about Roman? Do you want to tell him, or not?" He watched her hands tremble slightly as if she were nervous, and it left him wondering why.

"I've been thinking about this, and well, Roman adores Carrie. He'll be devastated by this," she said softly, sipping at her drink.

John sighed, "I know."

"And they've had so little time together," she continued. She couldn't stop thinking about Carrie and Roman's argument the night before, and the way Carrie had stormed out of the house. Marlena had tried to explain to Roman how he was hurting his daughter, but instead, he'd blamed her. "The time they have had together has been spent... readjusting."

John noticed Marlena's slight pause, and he leaned forward trying to get her to look directly at him. "Something happened?"

It was getting more difficult for Marlena to maintain that line with John. She needed someone to confide in, a true friend, but was John that person, when they shared a past that was so intimate? She sighed softly, "Carrie came to me yesterday. She's considering... she's considering whether she and Austin should..." Marlena glanced away as she said, "...make love."

John's hand shook, and he sat his mug down on the coffee table. Carrie wasn't his daughter anymore, and he had to remember that. She was eighteen, and she could have sex with anyone she wanted. The problem was Austin wasn't someone he knew well, and Austin was a kid who seemed to be trying to figure himself out.

Marlena was quiet, and then she said, "She came to me for guidance, and I-I tried to help her as best I could, but it's so much easier when it's not your own family."

"...people having sex these days have to be very cautious... careful... thoughtful," she said gently, trying to find the right words as she went along.

Carrie stared at her, "I know."

She knew that Carrie had come to her because she trusted her, and that meant more than she could ever put into words. Marlena reached for Carrie's hand, and said softly, "Let's go sit down." Once they were seated, Marlena squeezed Carrie's hand. "I have so much faith in you, but I don't know Austin very well."