I've Loved You Before

Chapter 34 - Someone to Watch Over Me

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There's a saying old, says that love is blind

Still we're often told "Seek and ye shall find"

So I'm goin' to seek a certain lad I've had in mind

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Marlena shuddered when she felt Stefano's beefy hand slide along her hip. She could smell the Strega on his breath, and she fought to keep herself from flinching. His cologne settled on her skin like oil. He was always touching her, and she was forced to endure it. He hoped to win her over. She knew that, but she also knew there was no chance of it. There would never be a day, a moment when she welcomed his touch. He'd taken everything from her - her husband, her children, her life. No, as much as Stefano wished she would reciprocate his love, she knew she never would. Unable to take it any longer, she slowly pushed his hand away from her, and stepped back, staring at him with steady eyes. "I've asked you not to touch me."

Stefano gave her a feral smile. "It will only be a matter of time, Marlena, and then you will welcome my touch... perhaps as a friend... or perhaps as a lover."

"I've told you," she said firmly. "I love Roman. If you'd allow me to return home–"

" –you are home," he said. He stared at her for a moment. "There are ways, you know. Ways in which I could make you love me."

She abruptly took another step back, her eyes widening with surprise. Was he suggesting force? He'd never gone that far.

Stefano laughed, holding his hand up as if to placate her. "No, my dear Marlena. I do not have to resort to rape, although one might consider it a rape of the mind... taking away one's memories."

He'd done that Roman. He'd taken Roman's memories and his face, returning to her a husband who couldn't remember their life together and looked like a stranger. She knew what he was suggesting and it scared her. She would never willingly give her body over to Stefano, but if he took away the very essence of who she was... Lifting her chin so that she could stare at him with fierce eyes, she said vehemently, "I would never forget Roman. I couldn't! Our love is too strong!"

His laugh rang ominously in her ears as Stefano said, "My Queen... if you only knew."

Something about what he said and the way he said it had weight settling in the pit of her stomach. She'd been living that way for years - on edge, never certain of Stefano's next move. It wore on her, making her perpetually nervous and consumed nightly with vibrant, vivid, nightmares. "I hate you," she hissed.

He laughed again, "Ah, my beautiful Marlena. I love your fire. Someday soon, it will be for me..."

Marlena woke up gasping for air. Her fingers settled at her throat as she mentally told herself she was safe. She was in her bed in John's house. The dreams were debilitating at times. She couldn't be sure what was fabricated by her mind and what was real. They had always believed that she'd been in a coma for those five years she was missing, but what if... She shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself as she shivered trying to shake off the dream. It was just a dream. Nothing more, and yet she wondered. When she woke in San Cristobal there had been no muscle weakness at all. She hadn't struggled to walk, or gotten fatigued quickly, and that led her to believe that possibly, just possibly, she hadn't been in a coma all of that time. But if not, that led her mind to darker places. Where was she? Where had she been? And what had Stefano done to her? Gaps in her memory came with fear. Fear of the unknown.