golden blonde¹

the worst feeling in the world

mid may 2023
elena wishes to never relive the sinking feeling in her heart as she watches lia go down.

unfortunately for her, she's going to relive it one more time in a moment she wishes would never happen, but back to the current situation at hand.

elena's never bothered with learning the names of people she doesn't respect. she sure as hell did not bother to remember the name on the back of the jersey of the girl with a blonde ponytail as she steps on lia's ankle.

the curdling scream that comes out of lia's mouth as elena watches her ankle bend a full 90 degrees will haunt her for the next few months.

she regrets the fact that instead of lia who she runs to, it's the everton player being hastily pushed away from her teammates. instead, caitlin is by lia's side first, elena barely registers it out of the corner of her eye.

elena vows to herself that will not be a mistake she makes again. (it will be and elena will hate herself for it.)

"something is seriously wrong with you!" elena points accusingly at the girl who has her back turned.

"it was an accident," one of the everton players insists.

"i don't care! if you lack foot-eye coordination, you should rethink your career as a footballer!" elena spits out unapologetically. she doesn't regret a word she says because she means it.

the anger rising and falling with each breath she takes is calculated, she cannot begin to fathom why someone would have the audacity to even attempt to challenge a ball that was so clearly out of their reach.

steph is right next to her, the australian is also visibly angry, but her accent is heavily laced with the words she's exchanging with one of the other players that elena can't understand.

"what is your problem? you act like you belong here but you don't elena; one good game doesn't mean you can go around insulting players for the fun of it." the retort is sharp and evidently from a more mature player. elena opens her mouth to respond but she finds herself at a loss for words.

"no what's your problem!? you're throwing insults out to a kid that's had a better career already than you'll ever have!" steph yells back.

elena will insist she's not a kid to the australian defender later, but it finally registers in her mind that lia is on the ground not far behind her.

she turns around to see most of her teammates surrounding the midfielder, save for katie who was protesting loudly for a red card.

caitlin is by lia's side and just about everybody gets the message. elena closes her eyes, cursing herself for being so short-tempered. if anything, she knows that lia is grateful for caitlin, but elena still holds a bit of disdain for whatever reason towards the australian winger.

the swiss has an oxygen mask on, no doubt they're giving her some pretty hardcore drugs to deal with the pain. elena wants to throw up when she steps closer and can actually hear what lia's mumbling in and out of consciousness.

"world cup, the world cup."

caitlin is murmuring quietly, probably saying some sweet nothings to her as elena's heart breaks.

the world cup was less than two months away and this could be it for lia. her last and only chance to captain her country on the world stage.

elena didn't want to think about that.

another injury adding onto the growing list. this time, the stakes felt real. elena could've been lia in that situation. the spaniard knows for a fact that if it that was her, her ankles wouldn't have held up like how lia's looked like it maybe had. at least lia was conscious, not crying too much; elena would have been in full-blown tears. the stability of her ankle was not anywhere near lia's.