Her Anchor || Newt - Maze Runner

Part 11 - Bleeding Hands

I walked out of the kitchen getting looks from everyone surrounding me. They must have heard the screaming but not what I was saying. I kept my eyes on the ground, mouth shut, and fists balled up to prevent revealing my supernatural side. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Newt running up to me, probably curious like the others about what happened.

'What is wrong Y/n/n?' he said calmly, but I just pushed past him, too angry and concerned about losing control. I walked in the direction of the hut, deep in the deadheads, where no one could hear me. I got to my hut and started punching a tree around it, screaming with so much anger, not towards Frypan, but more myself. I was angry about being a hellhound, angry that I couldn't control it, angry that I got angry with Frypan, angry that I couldn't talk to my friends, angry with everything about me. I hated myself. My claws, eyes and fangs had returned as I continued screaming and punching the tree. I kept punching it until all that was left in me was a broken mess. I slumped against the tree and started crying, letting everything fall. I cradled my bleeding hands as I continued to sob.

I felt someone's hands on me, holding me.

'Shhh, it is ok, I have got you' said a voice from above that I recognised as Frypan. He wrapped his hands around me as I buried my head into his chest, getting his shirt wet from my tears.

'I'm so sorry Fry' I say with tears still streaming down my cheek.

'It is ok y/n/n'

We stayed there for a little bit longer. Once I had calmed down, I removed myself from Frypans hold and wiped all the tears from my cheeks

'Now it is safe to that everyone is extremely concerned and worried for you' laughed Frypan trying to lighten the mood. I laughed a little bit. We both stood up and made our way back to the kitchen. Not without a few stares from the boys who had seen my meltdown. We entered the kitchen and started making dinner, which was lasagna. Frypan and I each made two big trays of lasagna. It didn't take long to make the trays as we only needed, lasagna sheets, sauce, cheese and egg. It was also repeating layers, so it was easy to remember what to do next. It took about 30 minutes to finish our trays, and we put it in the oven. Frypan turned on the radio and played some music and started singing, but I didn't feel like singing so I just leaned against the counter thinking. My thoughts consumed me like a weighted blanket. Pulling me down into them.

How did I lose control so easily? Do I change into a hellhound whenever I am angry? What if one day I can't calm myself down and I end up burning down the Glade?

The ovens timer went off, pulling out of my thoughts. I went over to the oven and pulled out all the trays. I helped Frypan distribute all the lasagna to all the plates. While frypan served the boys, I was in the side room sitting at the table. The side room was hidden so they couldn't see me from the serving window, but I could still hear them. Occasionally, a boy asked Frypan if I was alright and what had happened. Frypan would brush them off saying I was alright. That was until I heard Newt voice. As he asked Frypan if I was alright, he had pure concern and worry in his voice. Unlike the other boys, who wanted to know for their own curiosity, Newt was genuinely concerned for me. He cared for me. Once again Frypan said that I was alright, but I could tell that Newt didn't believe him. As the last Gladers got their dinner, I got mine and Frypan got his.

We made our way to his hut with dinner. Nervousness filled my mind. I will finally find out what I am capable of. We got to his hut, which is located with the other keepers, I stepped inside, and he went to his bedside draw. He got out a leather cover book which looked about 1000 pages thick

'You read all of that?' I questioned, surprised by the book thickness

'I had a lot of time on my hands'

'I can tell'

'So, this is the famous bestiary, as I said already it has pretty much every supernatural creature in here, along with their origin, strengths, weaknesses. Basically, everything you possibly need to know is in there'

'Ok, let's get reading then'

word count: 779